Itty Bitty Zombies
by H0n3yGlaz3
Summary: The Doctor stumbles across a baby zombie and takes it in.
1. Undead Infant

The bitter cold had seeped through his name-brand hoodie and wrapped a shivering hand around the Doctor's torso. Escape was futile, due to the fact that Richtofen was on his way home. He put his left hand in a pocket. He dreaded going grocery shopping without taking the car. He thought that for sure the weather would stay lively, vibrant and summer-like, but he was wrong. The weather had dropped from 64 degrees down to 29 degrees within the last 6 hours. Night had fallen and the sun had departed, leaving behind nothing besides glaciation.

The dark-haired man mumbled to himself about how much he hated Dempsey and wished that the dull-witted weather hadn't deceived him. He inhaled the frozen air into his lukewarm lugs and then exhaled. The breath turned a ghostly white, then dissolved into nothing.

As he sauntered past a shadowy brick alley, a whimper echoed from it, catching his pale ear. Richtofen's eyebrows rose up inquisitively and he took a few steps back, peering down the dark pathway. A demonic high-pitched noise reached him. Pulling a switch-blade from his pocket and popping it open, the Doctor began his cautious steps into the dark abyss.

Following his first few steps into the darkness, Edward peeked back behind him over his shoulder, staring out at the darkness of the night. The busy street drove the voices in his head a bit insane. Grinding his teeth together in a disturbed manner, he faced forward and continued his prudent stride. Two yellow dots ahead of him pulled him even deeper into the alley. Almost automatically, the large, blonde orbs gave him flashbacks to the world before it became repopulated.

Flashbacks of the zombie apocalypse.

Their crazed screams. Victims of element 115, rotting and devouring anything that had a beating heart and racing blood. Controlled by an evil German girl who called herself Sam. She played upon the moon, hugging a stuffed bear and attempting to kill the Doctor and his companions. Little Sam was a nuisance, always screaming from her little palace named the M.P.D. Richtofen swore up & down that one day, he'd rip out her-

A gentle nibbling upon his calf pushed him from his thoughts. The German looked down into two wide, yellow eyes. His breath hitched in his throat. A zombie? But how? Could it be a crawler? Questions ran wild through his mind as he placed his switch-blade firmly between his teeth.

Reaching his now free, shivering hand into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. Clicking the small button at the very bottom of the phone, the blinding light hit Richtofen in the face. He squinted, then flashed the light towards the monster below him. The terrifying eyes belonged to a tiny body. The body of an infant to be exact. Richtofen tilted his head a bit, a little confused and bewildered by the specimen he had accidentally stumbled across.

The sadist got down on one knee and stared at the baby zombie before him. It continued to nibble on his leg, but he didn't mind. Judging on how it hadn't ripped through the denim of his jeans yet, it had no teeth. In fact, he was teething. Richtofen looked at the blood-red blanket that was wrapped around it's small, naked waist. Taking a few, alert looks around, he pulled the blanket up over the baby's head and pulled it's mouth off of his leg.

Standing to his feet and hoisting the child onto his left hip, Edward clenched his cell phone and plastic grocery bags in his right hand. The older man emerged from the alley and continued his way home. The zombified, baby boy pulled it's way up the blue-eyed man's chest and laid his head on Richtofen's shoulder. Hungrily nibbling at his new friend's shoulder, the child peered over the shoulder as well and startled a lone woman walking behind the two.

A gasp sounded from behind him and drool was drenching his hoodie. Richtofen had just taken a risk. He knew he'd receive crap from the other 3 for this.


	2. Ve Are Going To Take Care Of Him

"Oh, there he is! Took ya long enough!"

The Doctor had just returned home from his painful, yet interesting walk to and from the Maxis Market. The warm, or perhaps, boiling air gave him the urge to remove his hoodie. He couldn't, thanks to the wee bundle of zombie that was drooling on his shoulder. Reaching a foot behind him, he pushed the door shut and glared towards the black leather couch.

"What took ya so long?" a sandy-haired male asked him, his blue eyes staring at the red blanket.

"None of your business, Dempsey."

"Whatever. Did ya get the grub?" Dempsey questioned him, dismissing his nosy thoughts about the filthy fabric that Richtofen held against him.

Richtofen marched over to the couch and set the 3 weighty plastic bags down between Dempsey and his Asian friend. The Japanese man dug through the bags along with Tank, searching for a specific something. He grinned to himself, pulling out multiple sushi in a plastic casing. The case was black on the bottom and clear on the top, allowing one to see through and inspect the contents of it.

He popped the lid off and picked up the two chopsticks that came along with it. After seperating the slithers of wood, the samurai began to eat. "Not bad."

"You veren't specific so I just picked one." the sadist told him.

"Takeo eats everything raw. He'll be fine." the Marine explained, placing another _Spicy Nacho Dorito _into his mouth.

The German watched them eat, bored with the TV show they were watching on the big screen. He suddenly felt weary. In fact, he needed rest. He'd been busy all day. A small, demonic noise smacked his ear and remembered: the zombie. Dempsey and Takeo turned around to look at him, food hanging from their mouths as they'd stopped eating instantly.

"What was that?" Tank whispered to no one in particular.

"Oh, zat vas nozhing! Nozhing at all!" the Doctor awkwardly smiled, slowly backing out of the room.

"I'm just going to go to bed now, okay! _Ja,_ see you all tomorrow!"

He'd almost escaped until he backed into something imposing and bulky. Edward turned around to a Russian man who sipped at a fairly large bottle of vodka. He wore a gray jacket and a pair of black sweatpants.

"N-Nikolai... _hallo..._"

"Welcome home, Doctor. What is that under blanket?"

Oh, _s__cheiße_. He just had to be the first to point it out. And once Nikolai got curious, everybody got curious.

"G-go avay! Ignore it!" the German exclaimed, beginning to sweat. He spun around and attempted to head to his room, only to bump into 2 other men. Both were stuffing their faces.

"Yeah, what is that, kraut? Is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Dempsey interrogated.

"What is under the blanket?" Takeo pressed.

Richtofen's azure eyes shifted from the soviet to the idiots. Soviet, idiots, soviet, idiots, soviet, idiots, soviet-

"Alright! I'll tell!" He wailed, rushing over to the black door he'd emerged from earlier. A single tug on the blanket revealed the rotting, child underneath it. It's sunny eyes watched the other people of the room. Nikolai was the first to scream.

"Is tiny zombie! Kill it! Kill it!"

"Don't worry, I got it!" the Marine shouted, dropping his chips, reaching under the black couch and whipping out a handgun.

"_Nein!_ Stay back, American!" Richtofen squealed, embracing the child closer.

"What in the hell are you doing, kraut?! You tryin' to get us killed?!" Dempsey barked.

The newborn whimpered, frightened by all of the racket and the gun that was pulled from underneath the couch. The Nazi noticed this and became upset.

"You're scaring him! Shut up!"

The other 3 became painfully quiet and the infant giggled creepily.

"Even his laugh is a sign of the devil!" the Samurai harshly whispered.

"Shut up, Takeo. Ve are not going to kill him. Ve are going to take care of him."

"_We?!_ Ha! So he can grow up into a man-eating, undead, flesh-addict and eat us alive? You're on your own!" the blond said, placing a hand on his hip.

"Look at him though! He's so cute!" the Doctor cooed, gently petting the infant's brown hair.

"Is cute and evil! We kill it!" the Soviet sneered.

"Nein. Ve're all going to take care of it." the sadist growled.

"Or what?" Dempsey quizzed.

A switch-blade was flung from the German's side of the room and hit the bottle of vodka that Nikolai was sipping from. The bottle shattered into multiple pieces and hit the floor, the carpet being soiled with the Russian beverage. Belinski screeched in disbelief and fainted, crashing to the ground.

The Samurai and Marine looked down at their drunken friend, then looked up at a giggling, zombie infant and a delighted Richtofen, who had the most disturbing and terrifying smirk on his face.

"Und zhen zhere vere two! Anyone else vant to go against zhe doctor's commands?!"

"No!" the two soldiers said, somewhat fearful of what their treatment would be if they were to deny his wishes.

"Zhen it's settled." the dark-haired, German held up the foul-smelling, baby boy towards the ceiling. "Ve vill take good care of you, little one! Who's _mein_ favorite little zombie? You are!"

Upon lowering the child, he was greeted with the awkward stares of Takeo and Dempsey.

"Stop looking at me!"


	3. Not-So-Stupid American Dad

The morning following the welcoming of the undead newborn, Tank woke up reasonably early. He found himself restless, jittery that the tiny zombie would come into his room and eat him, bit by delicious bit. He squinted at his digital clock that read just half-past 8am.

Yawning and stretching jadedly, he literally rolled out of bed and toppled onto the beige carpet. He seriously had no idea why he did that every morning. Perhaps it just woke him up and gave his senses a jump-start.

Hauling himself up off of the floor, the Marine found a stray pair of black jeans that rested on a chair and yanked them onto his legs. He plucked a dark green tank top from off the carpet and left his room, pulling the shirt over his head.

As he stalked closer and closer towards the living room, the faint sound of the news gently became louder and louder. Dempsey stepped into the living room to find Richtofen settled on the floor in front of the big screen. Near him, rolling around on a blanket, was the decomposing infant he'd brought home yesterday, gnawing a petite stuffed brain.

"Why is that thing still here?"

"Ve talked about zhis yesterday, now hush! I'm trying to vatch zhe news." the Doctor replied, stroking the baby's head.

"Yeah, whatever." Tank sneered, making his way into the kitchen. He spilled himself a bowl of frosted flakes and leaned on the counter, shoving spoonful after spoonful into his mouth.

After he finished, he placed the vacant bowl into the sink. Eh, Takeo will wash it. The blonde male shuffled back into the living room and nearly left into the hallway until-

"Ah ah ah! Vait a minute, American! You still have to chip in." the Nazi called to him.

Dempsey sighed, taking a few steps back and rotating to face the crazed man who was perched on the ground.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Vatch him vhile I go shopping."

"That's all?"

"_Ja._ For now."

"...fine."

Richtofen rose up and waltzed his way over to the ebony, wooden door. He pulled on his black and white sneakers and hoodie that he'd washed last night. It had reeked of rotting human flesh and drool. The weather looked fair, so he left the car keys on the table near the door. Pulling his hood over his head, he departed without a word, leaving Dempsey to watch the bundle of undead fury that was making adorable, but frightening noises in front of the TV.

"I wish you'd stop doing that, you evil, meat sack." Tank took a seat on the red carpet in the same spot that the Nazi once sat in. "How'd you even survive?"

The infant kicked it's legs and drooled.

"Not talkin', eh? That's cool with me."

The child made a growling noise, looking up at the Marine with it's glowing, sunny eyes.

"Don't growl at me, you little flesh-addict!"

A saliva covered stuffed brain hit him in the face, a wicked giggle following the impact. Tank wiped the zombie drool from his face and bared his teeth down at the laughing zombie.

"You think that's funny, don't ya?! You're lucky I was threatened or else your little ass would be pieces of trash on the floor!"

The infant whimpered, petrified by Dempsey's black-hearted tone.

"Go ahead! Cry! See if I care!"

Vile, shrill cries erupted from the child and salty, tears fell down the side of it's face. It sounded almost like a zombie screaming, but had more of a miserable pitch to it.

"Just keep on crying, because nobody cares!"

The brown-haired baby continued to sob and the blond stared down at it angrily. Suddenly, he kinda felt bad. He thought of his daughter that he'd lost during the apocalypse and wondered to himself: would he make _her_ cry like that? Would he yell at _her_ and say such words to _her_ like he just did?

Then it occurred to him that maybe this was a second chance. Maybe it was a chance to start over. The Marine reached down and hoisted up the bellowing babe, peacefully rocking it back and forth. Before long, it ceased it's cries, gazing up at his now second father.

"There. All better. You & I got off on the wrong foot, kid. Wanna start over?" Dempsey beamed, extending a finger towards the infant that was cradled in his left arm.

The child reached out a decaying hand and wrapped it's miniature digits around Dempsey's single finger. "Baa!"

"I'll take that as a yes."


	4. Japanese Stars

Night had fallen and everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. Richtofen was entertaining the mini zombie that he'd decided to name Milz, which just so happened to be German for _spleen_. Dempsey and Nikolai sat themselves on the couch in front of the TV. It was as if they were hypnotized. At this point, they were probably off guard of what they were viewing. Takeo sat on the floor and leaned back on the couch, exploring his cell phone.

The TV show went to a commercial break, but no one halted their events. That is, until a Christmas commercial aired.

The American and Soviet were broken from their hypnosis. Squinted Earth Brown eyes gazed towards the big screen and the German was no longer entertained by tiny, insane, adorable infant chuckles.

The 4 stood up at the exact same time and shouted a determined, "Not it!"

Every single one of them studied each other closely. No one dared direct their eyes elsewhere, because one lucid move could mean death. Well, not really.

"Well,... this is awkward." Dempsey whispered.

"Indeed. I'm usually zhe first one to call it. It seems a zhough zhe idiots have caught on." the Nazi smirked.

"He's talking about you, Takeo." Nikolai snickered, flashing his eyes towards the shortest of the 4.

Takeo, being the sensible and honorable man he was, neglected the insult and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I've got it. Ve could pull straws..." the sadist suggested.

"No! Is always rigged! I say we take drinking contest! Whoever can't hold their liquor loses!" the Russian cackled. "Eh? Anybody?"

"You're gonna be the only one drinking in the end, Nik. Everybody knows that. I say we play a game of zombies! The sucker with the least amount of kills has to do it." Tank decided, holding up his Xbox controller.

"You and your stupid games vill solve nozhing, Dempsey!" Richtofen stated, pointing a lanky finger in the blond's direction.

"You wanna say that to my face, kraut?" Dempsey growled, stepping over to the Nazi and leaning his face towards his.

"You and your stupid games vill solve no-" the Marine's fist made contact with his face and he fell to the ground.

The blonde dived onto the Doctor and the brawl began. Takeo sighed. There they go fighting again. Such children. That left only him and Nikolai.

"Nikolai is tired. You do it this year." the Soviet said, hoisting the two fighting grown men off of the floor and over his shoulders. He left the room, both the American and German shouting obscenities at one another.

* * *

The Japanese male sat near a vacant corner in the living room.

Putting up Christmas decorations. Takeo didn't really fancy it and he got off the hook last year. He even dodged putting up Halloween decorations this year and just barely jumped past taking them down. Not only did he have to put up the lights on the house, hang up the wreath and put up the Christmas tree, he also had to purchase the Christmas cookies and still buy his companions gifts.

"Ba ba."

A shiver rode his spine like a wave. He turned around and glanced near the couch. Now, Takeo was also stuck with the zombie baby. Just great. Just. Great. The Japanese man crawled over to the decaying child that laid upon a stack of blankets. They were used to support and hold him up, instead of laying him down.

"Hello, devil child."

Milz nibbled at his own fingers, dribble oozing down his hand. The Samurai sighed to himself as the baby giggled for no apparent reason. Maybe he was just cheerful to see Takeo.

Takeo stood to his feet and grabbed his coat off of the coat rack. He pulled his arms through, then zipped it up to his neck. Afterwards, the dark-haired man leaned down and picked up the infant from the blankets. The Samurai grabbed Milz's favorite red blanket and wrapped him in it. Time to go shopping.

* * *

The trip to the Maxis Market was boring. Well, for Takeo. Milz had the best time of his life. He couldn't stop laughing and making noises. He was so loud, men and women gave Takeo a look whenever he walked by. Some raised eyebrows, others smiled, some ran and screamed at the sight of the undead infant.

It didn't really matter. He got what he came for. Christmas cookies, gifts and more Christmas lights. Hopefully, this would satisfy the other 3 and he wouldn't have to return.

* * *

Takeo was just about finished with the decorating. The Christmas lights were up and sparkling. They nearly lit up the entire street. No one knocked on the door to complain, so they were fine. The wreath was hanging on the door. It took a while to find it in the basement, but he found it. The Christmas cookies sat on the table near the door in the big tin buckets, with cute drawings on the sides.

Basically, all that remained was the tree. Takeo had already began putting the lights on. Things seemed to have been going smoothly. But Milz started letting out attention-desiring screams.

"What is it now?" the Samurai sighed, looking at the child that laid on a blanket by the leather couch.

Milz kicked his tiny feet and whined more. Maybe he was hungry. That can't be it. He just ate. What did he want? The Japanese man picked up the plastic star that was near Milz on the floor. He leaned down and gave it to him and he creased his whining.

"Ooo..."

Takeo grinned. Maybe he was just a little cute. The man went back to work, wrapping the irksome red, white and green lights around the tree. Over and over and over again.

**SMACK!**

Insane, innocent, and hysterical laughter came from behind him. Something struck him in the back of his head. He looked on the floor behind him. A plastic, yellow star. Giving a bothered sigh, Tak picked up the star and stepped over to Milz. He presented the asterisk back to the laughing baby.

"Hold it. Don't throw. Hold." he spoke, hoping that he could understand him.

After suspending the ornaments on the edges of the tree, the black-haired man picked up his little star-holder and took the star from him. He extended a free arm and placed the star atop the tree. It began to shimmer and lit up the once dark corner of the living room. Milz gave a satanic, delighted scream, enjoying it's yellow twinkle. Tak held him close, instantly feeling the urge to snuggle the rotting baby.

"For once, I enjoyed this experience. Thanks to you."


	5. A Drunk's New Best Friend

Ugh. Another day, another hangover. Nikolai had just awoken in his room and was not only seeing stars but the bright sun flashing in through his window. He reached over and pulled the string, forcing the curtains closed. Ah, perfect. He closed his bloodshot eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. A harsh, rapid knocking came at his door.

"Nikolai, vake up! Breakfast is on zhe table!"

"Ugh, go away! I have hangover..." Nikolai responded, pulling his gray blanket over his head.

That didn't stop Richtofen from picking his lock and entering his room. He was wearing a red short-sleeved, button-up shirt, a pair of jeans and two mismatched socks. One blue, one red. On his head was a navy blue bandana that held his hair back. In his gloved hands was a large white laundry basket. Yep, he was cleaning again.

"What do you want, Doctor? Leave Nikolai alone."

"The Doctor vants you to get up." the sadist said, picking a dirty shirt up off of the floor.

"Can't Nikolai just sleep today? Is tired." Belinski explained from under his blanket.

Richtofen stepped over to the bed and pulled the blanket off of his head. The Soviet looked up at him sadly.

"Up. _Jetzt._" the German spat, picking up 3 empty vodka bottles from the floor, then taking his leave, shutting the door behind him.

The Russian gave a pained sigh. This was going to be the worst day ever.

* * *

Dempsey and Takeo sat at the wooden table in the kitchen. They ate in silence, actually listening to Milz's loud jabber from the living room. He was on the black couch, laying on his blood-red blanket. He was talking in his high-pitched, demonic voice to no one in particular. Richtofen walked into the room and over to the couch, placing the white clothes hamper on the floor.

"_Mein_ goodness, you are more talkative zhen zhe voices today." he told the infant, picking him up and heading into the kitchen.

The sadist dropped the child into Dempsey's lap.

"I'll be in my lab today. If he dies, someone vill be coming viz me down to zhe basement._ Und_ zhey von't be coming back." Edward threatened, opening the door down to the basement/his lab. He squinted his eyes at the Samurai and the Marine, slowly backing out of the room. He slammed the door shut, disappearing for the rest of the day.

"Ah ba!" Milz screamed, drooling on Tank.

"I think that means _bye_." Takeo murmured, placing his chopsticks down on his empty plate.

Nikolai stumbled into the kitchen wearing a dark purple jacket and another pair of black sweatpants and joined his friends at the kitchen table. He picked up his fork and began to stuff his face with the bacon, eggs and hash browns that were on the plate.

"I'm surprised you were able to actually get dressed." Tank insulted as Milz stood up on his lap, holding his shoulders tightly. "Hey, you're standing!"

"Leave Nikolai alone. Is tired." the Russian whined, holding his head in one hand and eating with the other.

The zombie of the household stared at Belinski deeply with his shining yellow orbs, possibly wanting to play with him. He reached out for him with one rotting hand, holding onto Dempsey's tank top with the other.

"What are you looking at, filthy zombie?" Nikolai growled, glaring at him.

"Don't be such an ass, Nik. He's a good kid." the blue-eyed man said, raising an eyebrow.

"For once, I agree." Takeo commented, collecting the empty plates off of the table and taking them to the sink.

"I still don't trust him." Nikolai muttered, rolling his eyes.

Tank gave him an annoyed look.

"Okay," the Marine picked up the child and stood to his feet, then dropped him into the Soviet's lap.

"You watch him today."

"What?!"

"You heard me. Watch. Milz." Tank said, leaving the kitchen with Takeo behind him, drying off his hands from washing the plates.

* * *

Nikolai sat on the couch viewing a movie and sipping a bottle of vodka. His hangover was still going insane, but at least all was well. He had vodka, TV, Christmas cookies. Perfect.

"Gah."

The soviet glanced over at the brown-haired zombie infant that was laying on the couch next to him, eating his own fingers yet again. He narrowed his eyes at him. Why would Richtofen bring home such a dangerous little thing? Disgusting.

"Well, what are you looking at, huh?!" Belinski shouted, leaning over the babe. "You want piece of Nikolai?!"

Milz laughed, reaching up towards the man and babbling something again. Wrinkling his nose his disgust, the Russian returned his attention to the TV. Annoying child. Ugh. For some reason, Nikolai couldn't really enjoy the film knowing that the cannibal was laying right next to him. Curiosity struck him and he put his liquor down long enough to pick up little Milz who was drooling all over the place.

The infant wore a diaper and a tiny orange shirt. On his head was a little white hat and on his feet, orange socks. His skin was a dark-ish grey and he had small scars on his arms. Some of the coffee-colored hair on his head curled up on his cheeks, making him look even cuter and bringing out his lemon-colored eyes.

Belinski sniffed him slightly and he actually smelled decent for a rotting being. He wondered: how on Earth did the Doctor cover up that smell? Milz grabbed his nose with a saliva covered hand and chuckled.

"Hey!" Looking at the kid a second time, he thought that possibly, today wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

While on a commercial break, Milz sat on Nikolai's lap crying frantically. The blue-eyed Russian thought he'd stop, but he didn't. Dempsey stomped into the room, annoyed out of his mind. He held his head in anguish.

"Dammit, Nikolai! What'd you do?!"

"I did nothing! Tiny zombie just started crying. Not Nikolai's fault!"

"Well, make him shut up! I'm trying to take a nap!" And the Marine exited.

Rising up off of the couch, Nikolai raced into the kitchen, Milz cradled in his right arm. He searched around frantically, looking for something to feed the whining baby. He didn't have teeth, so what could he eat? Oatmeal? Too hot. Cereal? Too crunchy. Sounds painful. Vodka? Vodka! That was it!

"D'oh, of course! Is always good time for vodka!

Before the Russian got the chance to leave the kitchen, the basement door slammed open and a black and white baby bag flew up from the basement. The door closed and the drunk stalked over to the bag. On the side was a bloody hand print. It was fresh. Resting on top of the bag, there was a note.

_Dear Nikolai,_  
_Open the bag and look towards the bottom. There are bottles of food for my sweet Milz._  
_Do not. Do not. __**DO NOT.**_  
_Give him vodka._  
_Or there will be consequences._

_You're welcome,_  
_The Doctor  
_

Following the simple instructions of the note, the bag was opened and Nikolai was slightly surprised by what he pulled out from the pouch. A bottle of crimson red blood. Did this baby really drink this stuff? The Russian placed the tip of the bottle into the crying baby's mouth and he began to drink, cutting out his cries.

"There. Better." Nikolai smiled, heading back into the living room. He placed the child's head on a pillow as Milz held the bottle up to feed himself.

An abrupt desire filled him. It was as if he couldn't restrain his hand. No, don't. Don't do it. The Soviet extended an arm and pet the newborn's brown head. Then, jerked his hand away. He didn't really just pet a zombie, did he? He was cute, but he was the enemy years ago. His people destroyed the world nearly. Yet, Nikolai felt something different about him. Milz was different from all the others. He knew it. Russian instinct.

Maybe this child wasn't as bad as he thought he was.

* * *

Richtofen walked upstairs from his lab and closed the door behind him. He tip-toed over to a cabinet and received himself a cup, then poured a glass of orange juice. He looked up at the clock on the wall while taking a sip. 12:24am. He really needed to get to bed. Finishing his juice, he placed the blank cup into the sink.

Striding into the living room that was only lit up by the Christmas tree in the corner that Takeo had produced, the Doctor progressed to his room but a heart-warming sight caught his eye.

On the ebony couch, there was Nikolai, snoring away. His right arm was hanging off of the couch and in that hand was a nearly empty bottle of vodka. On his stomach was baby Milz, sleeping silently and holding his empty baby bottle in his left hand. Nikolai had a hand on his back, making sure that he didn't roll off of him and onto the floor.

Richtofen grinned to himself, picking up Milz's red blanket off of the floor and draping it over the two. He stalked to his room for the night. At least he didn't give him the vodka.


	6. The Disappearing Act

Some days had went by, possibly even weeks and Christmas was insanely close to grasping our 4 soldiers and their new undead child, Milz. One night was terrible for the Doctor who had brought the child home nearly a month ago. The infant awoke crying and he was forced to get up from his pleasant bed at 4:12 in the morning. He yawned and rubbed his eyes to adjust them to the darkness that was his room.

The sadist stood up and wobbled over to the crib on the opposite side of the room. The babe's eyes nearly blinded him, as they were insanely bright. He reached in and picked up the pale child, then stepped back over to his bed where he collapsed with Milz in his lanky arms.

Half an hour had passed and Richtofen lay in his bed with the newborn, entertaining him in the dark. The baby nibbled his finger and made random growling noises. Richtofen was actually very tired. He'd been up in his lab since 1am and barely got 3 hours of sleep before Milz awoke crying. He glanced over at his digital clock which glowed in the shadows of the night. 4:42 am. Then he looked down at the child that was cuddled up against his chest. Small, yellow slits. His eyes were closed. He was asleep. Finally.

Maybe now, he could get some re-

* * *

The loud blaring of Edward's alarm clock made him spring up. He looked around the room quickly, taking in the cold morning air. TV. Crib. Computer. Closet. O-open closet! Important papers. Need to file those! Scalpel. Spleen in a jar. Alarm clock. 8am. 8am?! Oh. Just 8am. Everything was fine. He looked down to his right and spotted his little baby Milz, snoozing away over the sound of the loud clock. He was an insanely deep sleeper.

The sadist reached over and picked out the snooze button on top of the digital clock. After swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his lap. The Doctor stared down at the hard wood floor, thinking deeply to himself.

Richtofen had so much to do today. Wake up the idiots and the soviet, cook, clean, file papers. Ugh. Not only that, but he had to pick somebody to watch Milz. Milz... The German had barely spent any time with the undead newborn that he'd brought home a while ago. It actually made him feel like a bad father.

"_Nein..._" he whispered to himself, flexing his freezing fingers.

A small source of heat touched his lower back.

"Ba ba!"

A smile graced the older man's lips. Not the creepy one's he gave the other 3 when they pissed him off. Reaching behind him and picking up his now awake baby boy, Richtofen pet his head gently as the child squeezed his nose happily. Today would be different. No work. No idiots. Just Milz.

* * *

Later in the day, after Dempsey, Takeo and Nikolai had retreated to their rooms for the next few hours, Richtofen laid an azure blanket down on the red carpet of the living room floor. Following that, he placed the zombie babe down upon it, who kicked his legs joyfully.

The Doctor observed the clothes the child was wearing. A diminutive, bright, green sweater that had thick, red zigzags across it and white polka dots around the sleeves, the neck and the hem of it. Milz wore a diaper, the second one he'd changed today. His tiny, rotting feet were hidden by thick white socks. The sweater had sleeves that were a bit too big for him, so each time he wished to nibble at his hands, the sweater would get in the way and he'd make a frustrated, high-pitched growl.

Richtofen thought that perhaps, a pacifier would work out the problem. Turning around and going through the ebony and ghostly white baby bag at his side, he searched and searched through the tiny pouch. Bottles of blood, diapers, bibs. Ah, here we are. A pacifier. The Doctor turned his attention back to an empty blanket.

Wait. Wasn't there a tiny, drooling, moving corpse there a second ago?

"Oh, _nein_."

Standing to his feet, Edward scanned the living room. Couch. Christmas tree. Christmas cookies. Dempsey's Xbox. White, big screen TV. Nothing.

"_Mein_ baby has gone missing!" he shouted to himself, running down the hallway behind him past a closet and into Nikolai's room. "Nikolai, have you seen Milz?"

A burp sounded before an answer.

"What? You mean tiny, zombie baby?" Nikolai replied, giving a drunken grin towards the doorway where Richtofen stood.

"_Ja,_ Milz! Vhere is he?!"

"Is so cute! He was here just a minute ago, babbling about nothing!"

"Vhich vay did he go?"

"Down opposite hallway. Ask Dempsey."

"_Danke!_" And with that, Edward left, continuing his search.

He sprang past the red living room and dashed down another hallway. Being skinny actually came in handy. The German skid past the 3rd bathroom of the house and toppled into Dempsey's room. Dempsey gave a girly scream, then corrected himself before asking what the hell Richtofen was doing.

"Vhere is Milz, American? I know you have him!"

"I don't have him! I swear I don't!" the Marine replied, clutching his chips in one had and a Gatorade in the other.

"If you don't have him, zhen who does?!" Edward screamed, clutching his head impatiently.

"Go check Tak, kraut!" Tank replied, thrusting a finger next door.

The Doctor left the American's room and stomped next door. He twisted the stiff knob. It was locked. He picked the lock as quickly as possible and pushed the door open. Richtofen gawked around the room, looking at the red lanterns hanging from the ceiling and at the Japanese magazine's in the center of the floor. The crisp, air smelled of flowers and soft music rang through his ears from a small iPod stand across the room. Samurai swords we're laying under the high windows, propped up against the wall.

"What is it, Doctor?"

Edward looked on the bed that he'd bumped into on accident. Takeo lay there under a baby blue blanket, a magazine in his hands.

"Um... Have you seen Milz, Takeo?"

"He was here a while ago. I believe he was headed to the living room." the Japanese man told him.

"_Danke..._"

The sadist departed, closing the door behind him. Well, that was relaxing. He took off in a flash, remembering the task at hand. He sprinted back down the hallway and into the living room. Where was Milz? The German spun in circles, looking for the baby. He was back where he started. How could Milz have moved from one place to another? It was impossible.

Richtofen gazed into the kitchen and sighed a sigh of relief, yet he was also very astounded. Milz emerged from the kitchen, a plastic cup on his head. He was on his hands and knees, steadily making his way towards his father.

Milz was crawling.

"Oh, _mein gott._" Richtofen whimpered, tears of happiness welling up in his eyes. He never cried over anything unless it was blood.

The decaying baby stopped when he bumped into the man's leg. He sat on his diapered bottom and reached his sweater sleeves up to his father.

"Da da!"

"Joy!" Edward squealed in a high-pitched voice, picking up Milz and cuddling him close to his chest.

He wanted to be angry at him, but he couldn't. Not only did he make the Doctor proud with his surprises, but he also gave his day a jump-start, thanks to his disappearing act.


	7. Jingle Hell

The American opened his blue eyes slowly. He'd actually gotten some sleep. Sitting up on his bed, Dempsey rubbed his eyes sleepily, then looked beyond his curtains. White dots fell from the sky. Some big, some small. They stuck to the ground, covering it in a pale blanket. The sky was still shadowed. That probably meant that he'd woken up early. He didn't know why. It was only Christmas.

Holy shitballs. It was **Christmas.**

Dempsey rolled out of bed in his camouflage pajama pants and white tank top. He stood to his feet and looked at the clock before leaving the room. 7am. Yes! The blond tiptoed out of the room and down the hallway. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. It turned the Marine back into a little kid.

He remembered when he and his older brother would wake up bright and early, just to pull the teasing paper off of those toys and play with them all day long. Then, they'd fall asleep before the afternoon even arrived, sleeping the rest of the day away. Their parents would tuck them in, just to make sure that they were asleep for a long period of time, so they could prepare dinner.

Tank tiptoed into the dark living room, looking at the twinkling Christmas tree in the corner near the front door. What a work of art Takeo put together. He took a seat near a present and picked it up. Whoa. It was heavy. What could it be?

Suddenly, the bright tree in front of him shook. He glared at it questionably, placing the gift down on the carpeted floor. The Marine slowly crawled around the tree, edging himself closer to the wall. The Christmas symbol shook once more and a small, yellow-eyed, zombie baby crawled from behind the tree, greeting Dempsey with a confused face.

"Oh, it's just you. Hey, kid."

"Da da..." Milz whispered.

Tank looked back up at the tree and jumped back, clamping a hand over his mouth to muffle his startled yelp. Richtofen sat behind Milz, a frightening smirk on his face, as if he wanted to puncture something with a sharpened candy cane.

"Merry Christmas, American." he whispered, petting the babe's head.

"Yeah, whatever. What the hell are you doing behind the tree anyway, Ed?"

"Milz voke up crying and vanted to sit here in front of all of zhe blinking lights. And I vanted to scare you shitless." Edward admitted, rolling his eyes and following Milz out from behind the tree.

Dempsey snaked his way back over to the front of the tree and picked up the gift he once held in his hands. Reading the sticker on top of the gift that sat near the bow, Dempsey grimaced in disgust.

"Oh, _vunderbar._ You're going to open my gift first?"

The blond looked over to his right and there Richtofen was, leaning in near his face. Tank leaned away, placing the gift back down on the floor.

"Tsk. No. Might be something to kill me."

"You could be right, you could be wrong~" the sadist sang, giving an innocent smile and looking towards the ceiling.

The crazed looked even more innocent in his snowman-printed sweater. In fact, Milz and Richtofen were actually wearing matching sweaters. Of course, with Milz being the little guy that he was, the sleeves were really long on him, but he crawled about nonetheless.

"Where'd you get the matching sweaters, kraut?" Tank questioned.

"Zhe nice voman next door brought zhem over yesterday. She-"

"Wait, wait, wait. We have neighbors?" the blond interrupted.

"I asked zhe same zhing! Ve haven't had neighbors since ve've moved in." the dark-haired man replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Maybe she's hot..."

"See? Zhis is vhy you're stupid." Richtofen scoffed, ending the conversation as Takeo walked in with a stumbling Nikolai.

"Merry Christmas! Is it time for drinking yet?" the sleepy Russian asked, wobbling back and forth.

"Not yet, my dear Nikolai! Have a seat! Ve have to open zhe presents first!" Richtofen explained, offering Nikolai a seat on the floor.

Nikolai sat on his bottom, smiling joyfully to himself. Takeo followed, crisscrossing his legs and sitting up straight.

"Nikolai will go first!" the Soviet exclaimed, raising a hand.

"No, Milz will." Tank told him, pushing a medium-sized box over to the undead baby that sat in Richtofen's lap.

Milz flapped his sleeves excitedly, looking at Dempsey. He babbled something, then ripped the paper off with ease. The Doctor assisted him in taking off the lid of a white box and in the box was a blue and white stuffed panda.

"Merry Christmas, kid." Tank smiled, reaching into the box and taking the panda out, handing it to Milz.

The child took the stuffed animal and hugged it to his chest, then nibbled at an ear upon it's head. He leaned back onto Edward's stomach, content with everything in the world around him.

"Is so cute." Nikolai grinned.

"I'm going first." Dempsey announced, reaching past Richtofen's present and picking up one that was just about the same size. It was short and wide, wrapped neatly in green & red stripped paper and had a white bow stuck to the corner of it. Reading the sticker on top, Tank smiled to himself. "_From: Takeo, To: Dempsey._ Thanks, Tak."

Takeo responded with a nod as the Marine unwrapped the present, then opened the box underneath. He pulled out a grey, black and white camouflage jean jacket with metallic buttons and a buckle at the very bottom to hold the jacket securely closed. And to add a little "bad boy" to it.

"This is pretty fuckin' sweet!" Tank complimented, pulling the jacket on.

"I am glad that you like it." the Samurai told him, proud of himself.

"You go next."

The Japanese man looked at the choices with his names on them. He picked up the smallest one, entranced by the sparkling, light blue wrapping paper and white bow. He pulled off the paper without even reading who it was from and saw before him 2 pricey chopsticks. They were white and had designs of cherry blossoms wrapped around them.

"Um..."

"Zhat vas from me. You're velcome." Richtofen said, glaring at Takeo.

_"Arigatou."_

"Vhatever zhat means. My turn!" the sadist grinned devilishly, wrapping his lanky fingers around yet another small box. This one was light, very light indeed. Ripping away the paper and flipping the lid off of the box, he gasped loudly. Then, he hung his head down low.

"Da da?" Milz whimpered.

"Richtofen?" Nikolai muttered.

Soft, chuckles emitted from the Doctor. The chuckles turned into berserk laughter as the Doctor threw his head back. He cackled to the ceiling, eyes wide with insane happiness.

"A scalpel! You got me a scalpel!" Richtofen yelled.

Milz crawled out of his lap, somewhat frightened by his German father's actions. Edward took the shiny, silver scalpel from the box and bit his lip, concealing his laughter.

"Took me a while to find it. I'm surprised you like it." Dempsey spoke, crossing his arms over his chest.

Richtofen's laughter died down and his face turned into one of unamusement.

"Nevermind zhen. It's shitty."

"I swear to god, kraut. One day, I'm going to murder y-"

"Nikolai's turn!" Nikolai shouted, picking up a bottle-shaped gift. Pulling off the wrapping paper, he looked at Dempsey happily.

Dempsey just shrugged, beaming back at his Russian friend. A bottle of vodka. Nikolai's favorite. What else would he get?

"It's _mein_ baby's turn. Enough viz zhe smiling and awkvard silence." the German interrupted as Milz ripped his way to another gift: a doll. That looked like Dempsey.

"Hey, that looks like me! He's handsome. Oorah, me. Orrah." Tank smirked.

Milz stared at it, then thrust the head of the doll into his mouth, chewing at it and drooling all over the stuffed Marine. The sadist threw his head back again, this time laughing with joy.

"That's it!" Tank growled.

"Not on Christmas, Tank." Takeo whispered, bringing the enraged Marine to a halt, as he nearly leaped onto Richtofen and clamped his hands around his neck.

The blond sat back down and picked up the Doctor's gift, eying it suspiciously. He looked over to his right and there the man sat, his eyes aimed towards the ceiling and an innocent smile on his face. The American sighed and released the gift from it's paper. His blue eyes went wide, almost as wide as dinner plates.

"Ho. Ly. Shit. An Xbox One! I am gonna play the crap out of thi-" he stopped, witnessing the smug look on the Doctor's face. The black-haired man raised an ebony eyebrow. "I mean, this sucks. Seriously, this is shitty."

"Vhatever you say, American. By zhe vay, I took zhe controllers and hid zhem." Edward lied.

"You little basta-" Dempsey stopped again, realizing the man's lie. He turned his head elsewhere, holding the boxed game console to his chest.

Takeo became amused by the sight. Seeing one be nice to the other while the other denied their care was actually kind of funny. It was rare, but amusing. The Samurai picked up a wide, yet flat box. It was concealed by bright red wrapping paper and on top, held a black bow in the corner and a sticker right next to the bow.

He divided the lively crimson paper from the box and lifted the lid off of the brown case in his hands. Takeo's eyes lit up. Not a lot, but just slightly enough to let one know that he was dumfounded by what he uncovered.

Small, round, blue lanterns. The lanterns were made from tough paper and cased gently in styrofoam petals.

"I am greatly honored to be receiving... this..." the dark-haired Asian murmured, his mouth unable to make words.

"You left one of your magazines on the couch one day and had a fat red circle around those. Thank me later." Dempsey grinned, fiddling with a button on his new jacket.

"Is it Nikolai's turn yet?" Nikolai wondered, watching Takeo's astonished face.

"Of course, Nikolai! Go ahead!" Richtofen said, cuddling Milz to his chest.

Picking up the last two gifts that sat underneath the glistening Christmas tree, Belinski undid the noisy paper from them and gave a hearty laugh.

"More vodka! Is from German and stupid Asian!"

The American, German and Japanese men looked at each other questionably.

"Okay. He opened my gift first, so you guys need to stop taking _my_ ideas." the American claimed, pointing a finger at the two men that sat on opposite sides of him.

"I hate you, Dempsey. I hate your ideas as vell. They're all stupid. Just like you." the Doctor growled, squinting his eyes at his enemy.

"Says the dumbass who took my idea. Wait. I didn't get a single gift from Nikolai." Tank pointed out, counting in his head over and over how many gifts he'd acquired that morning.

"Neither did I." Takeo agreed.

"_Ja,_ me neizher." Edward said.

"Bah." Milz chimed in, holding his Dempsey Doll and panda.

The Soviet halted his drinking of the famous Russian beverage and gawked at the 3 men and little boy in the room. He thought slowly then, placed his vodka down.

"But gift from Nikolai is right in front of you."

"What is it?" Takeo questioned.

"Nikolai!" the Russian gleamed, toppling the three men that sat on the floor onto their backs. He wrapped an arm around Richtofen and Takeo, then hugged them tightly.

"Seriously?" Dempsey asked, being squished between the skinny Doctor and honorable Samurai.

"_да!_"

"Well, this gift smells." Takeo said.

"And it's heavy as hell." Tank complained.

"I love it! Zhis is zhe best gift ever! Zhank you, Nikolai!" Richtofen squealed, petting the Russian's brown hair.

The other 2 sighed, utterly annoyed, and Milz watched the snow fall outside through a window. He nibbled at the stuffed panda in his right arm and became mesmerized by the ashen petals that swiftly fell to the ground, even though he couldn't see it. He was far too short. The undead baby became lost in the world again. His thoughts drifted away from the commotion behind him from his fathers as Dempsey shouted something along the lines of, "That's like the 5th year in a row, Nikolai!"


	8. Weird Babies & Pretty Ladies

Takeo sat alone on the black leather couch of the living room. Although he was bored, he wouldn't really tell anyone. The gloomy weather was actually destroying his mood and no one was around to keep him company. Judging by the faint screams of mercy from the basement, Richtofen was in his lab for the day. Nikolai was recovering from a hangover, as usual. And Dempsey was... out on a date. Yes. A date. That was new.

The woman was a blonde, with blue sparkling eyes. If you stared close enough, you could see the galaxy inside of them. Not really, but they were gorgeous. She had milky white skin. The woman was nearly the same shade as Dempsey and enjoyed video games almost as much as he did. She would never tell, but Takeo could see it in her eyes when she came to pick Dempsey up. Her hair was up in a neat bun and her bangs sat on the right side of her face, just below her eyebrow.

Yes, Dempsey had bagged a good one. He just wondered how long it'd be until the woman ran away at the sight of Milz, the undead infant. Takeo had gotten used to him. He was a sweet, charming zombie, who wanted nothing more than to play and be amazed by the world.

Just as the thought of him popped into his head, the child crawled into room wearing a white, long-sleeved t-shirt, a black beanie and a diaper. On his back was his azure and white panda that he'd gotten for Christmas, riding on him like a cowboy.

"Da da!" Milz smiled, making his way over to the Japanese man who rested on the couch. He paused by his leg and extended his hands up, his panda falling from his back.

The Samurai leaned down and picked the baby up, sitting him on his lap. The zombified baby pointed down to his panda that lay on the floor, babbling something in his high-pitched, satanic voice. Takeo caught the drift and picked the panda up off of the floor, distributing it to the child. Milz hugged it close to him, biting at one of the furry ears.

How was this dead thing so cute? He'd barely been in the home for 2 months and was already swooning the survivors with his adorableness. Even Dempsey got pulled into it, as much as he'd hated zombies years ago while they were trying to eat him alive. Milz watched the darkened screen of the TV intently, as if he were watching something. Then, he gave a joyful laugh, kicking his feet excitedly. Milz really thought that he was watching TV.

Takeo concealed a chuckle as he picked up the remote, that Dempsey and Nikolai fought over on the daily, and turned on the big screen. Small whimpers crossed the finish line first and wails came in last place as Milz began to cry loudly, staring at the bright screen in front of him. The dark-haired male turned off the TV as quickly as possible and the child stopped his cries, his face softening into one of relaxation. He stared at the blank screen for a few seconds, then laughed again.

How weird. Takeo turned on the TV again and Milz responded with crying, tears beginning to roll down his grey cheeks. After the TV went blank, he stopped, laughing happily at the darkened screen.

"Milz?"

"Ba?" the undead newborn responded, tilting his head back to look up at his father.

"...nothing." Takeo grinned, picking the child up and heading into the kitchen.

His stomach growled angrily at him and Milz growled back at it. The Samurai was confused, but maybe it was a zombie thing. He didn't know. Pulling open the refrigerator, he mentally slapped himself. He had completely forgotten that he was the one that had to restock the food supply.

Takeo remembered how they'd played Richtofen's game of straw pulling. Richtofen got the longest straw. Of course. He'd always rig that game so he'd win. Cheater. Takeo ended up getting the smallest straw and that's when all hell went loose. The Doctor made a comment about how the straws also stood for one's "size" and everyone began to tease the poor Samurai. As usual. He never really did get respect around the home, but he was use to it. At least Milz loved him dearly. That's one thing he could count on.

After placing Milz on the ground, the honorable man prepared himself for the journey to and from the grocery store. He wrapped a scarf around his neck that also covered his mouth. After pulling on his leather jacket, shoes and gloves, he picked up the keys that sat next to the front door on the table and began to exit.

"Da da..."

The Samurai halted, the cold air from the outside world rushing into his humble abode. He glanced down to the floor and spotted Milz looking up at him pleadingly with his sunny eyes. The baby held his tiny red coat and socks with him, hoping that his Asian father would catch his drift. Then, it struck Takeo like a bullet. He wasn't the only one that was lonely today. Milz was just as lonely as he was.

* * *

The arrival to the Maxis Market wasn't as crowded as it was a couple of days ago. There weren't as many people scrambling around for last second Christmas stuff and sales. Takeo placed the zombie baby into the seat of a cart and began his trip. He handed Milz the shopping list that he'd made before he left.

"Don't eat it." he told the baby as he walked into the first aisle of the store, looking over the choices he had to choose from.

The shopping went smoothly. Milz was as good of a list-holder, as he was a star-holder. Although he couldn't really talk much, he could understand English perfectly and listened to directions like a good boy. Takeo pushed the cart into the dairy section and Milz stretched his hands up towards the ceiling. This was his absolute favorite section. Milz enjoyed the bright white lights and different colors that he saw. The cold change in climate appealed to him and he got giddy when he saw the milk section. The red tops, the brown tops, the pink tops. He was one weird child but that's what made him interesting.

The cart bumped into something and the Samurai looked up and realized that he'd bumped into a person. He was swift to apologize, observing that the person was indeed a woman.

"I am sorry."

"Aww, it's fine. You've got a cute baby there." the coffee-haired lady told him, placing a hand on her hip.

The lady had a hat on her head and her hair was in a ponytail, sticking out the back of the hat. She wore a pair of ripped jeans and ebony combat boots.

"Thank you. He is." Takeo agreed, petting Milz's head.

"What's his name?" the woman asked, walking over to the other side of the cart and standing next to the Japanese male.

"Milz."

"How adorable! He looks like he's interested in the milk section. Cute little guy." she grinned. "He's got some bright eyes. Those suckers are like LEDs."

Before Takeo could respond, the woman was dragged away by a young man in a pair of glasses and black hair. He thought to himself. He felt like he'd knew them from somewhere, but shook it off.

* * *

After pulling into the driveway and shutting the car down, the Asian took the undead child from the back seat who was drinking away at a bottle of blood. He'd noticed a white BMW parked in front of the house, but decided to ignore it. It probably belonged to their neighbors. He opened the door and stepped into the house, the roasting air punching him in the face.

Looking on the couch, the Japanese man noted not one, but two blondes sitting on the couch. One with spiky hair, the other with silky hair that sat in a bun. The blond on the right looked back at him and he became aware that it was Dempsey. The American watched him with wide blue eyes then mouthed the words _Get. Out._

Takeo realized that the blonde on the left was his date, the one with the galaxy eyes and mesmerizing curves. Milz drunk his blood cheerfully, unaware of the woman's presence. Tank mouthed the words again, doing his best not to attract the woman's attention from the television. She looked over at him anyway and questioned in her soft, deep voice:

"Tank, is everything alright?"

"It's all good, baby." the American lied.

"Da da!" the zombified baby screamed, excited to see his blond father again.

"Da da? Why didn't you tell me you had a child, Tank?" the woman laughed.

"I-" But the Marine was too late. The woman had already turned her attention towards the doorway where Takeo stood.

She looked at the baby, then gawked at Takeo. Baby, samurai, baby, samurai, baby, samurai, baby-

"Tank, who is this?"

"That's Take-"

"Don't tell me you're g-"

"Whoa! I am** not** a fruit like Richtofen!"

"Who?"

"Nobody. That's Takeo. He's my-"

"He's your lover, isn't he?"

"No, of course not! He's just a good friend of mine!"

"Um... hello." Takeo awkwardly greeted her.

"Good afternoon and what is... what is that?!" the woman with the sparkling eyes squealed, jabbing a finger towards the undead infant in Takeo's arms.

"That's my son, Milz." Dempsey explained, attempting to approach the problem in a calm manner.

"That's your SON?! That thing is your son?!"

"He's not as bad as he looks! I promise!"

"That's... a zombie. It's a zombie!" the model stood to her feet and let out a high-pitched, terrified scream.

Milz giggled loudly, enjoying how high the scream was. Just then, Richtofen emerged from the basement and into the living room. He wore a white lab coat and his signature black gloves. He would've looked presentable if her weren't drenched in blood and holding a spleen in his right hand and his scalpel in his left.

"Da da!" Milz shouted.

"Vhat is zhe problem? Vhy is zhere so much racket up here?! Oh, _hallo._" Edward said, recognizing the beautiful woman in the room.

"Did that baby just call him Daddy?! Who is he?! Why is he drenched in b-b-blood?!" the curvy woman screamed, pointing in Richtofen's direction.

Tank had no excuse for Richtofen's terrifying appearance. He had no excuse for the zombie baby in the Japanese man's arms. He had no excuse for anything.

"I'm leaving! I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving!" the blonde woman with the galaxy eyes announced, grabbing her light blue coat off of the coat rack and pushing her way past Takeo.

The Marine got up from his spot on the couch and went after her.

"I vonder who zhat vas." the Doctor thought. "She vould've made a _gut_ patient."

"I... got groceries." Takeo spoke.

"Oh, _vunderbar!_ I'll help you in a little." Edward told him, heading back down into the basement.

Dempsey sulked into the house and plopped back down onto the sofa. He then covered his face with a pillow. The Samurai watched him sadly and stepped over to the couch. He placed Milz on the American's stomach. Dempsey removed the pillow from his face and gazed up into disappointed lemon-colored eyes.

"Da da... gah ba."

"It's fine, kid. Just fine." the Marine reassured him, placing the pillow back over his face. "It wasn't your fault."

Milz laid down on his father, doing his best to apologize how he'd scared the woman away with his appearance. Takeo walked back into house holding several weighty plastic bags. He stopped by the couch and fished a blue Gatorade from one of them. Handing it to Milz, he left into the kitchen to put the groceries away.

The American lifted the pillow from his face and spotted Milz still sitting on his stomach. The baby held a blue-bottle of Gatorade towards him and Tank gave a spirit-lifting grin. He sat up from the couch, hugging Milz close to his muscular chest. Then, Dempsey plucked the energy drink from the baby's hands.

"Thanks, kid. Apology accepted."


	9. Bathing With The Nazi

The afternoon clouds in the sky were as dull as Dempsey's brain and even more snow fell from them, casting a thick, bone white blanket across the neighborhood. The weather steadied itself at a freezing 2 degrees and no one dared leave the warm contents of their home. Even our veterans were stationing themselves in their cozy, relaxing residence.

Dempsey had taken control of the red, black and white living room. He sat on the couch along with a ton of snacks and a huge bottle of strawberry soda, demolishing anyone who dared step into his range of fire on Xbox Live. Takeo was behind the couch, exercising himself by doing two-hand, one-hand and diamond push-ups. His ear buds were plugged into his ears, blocking out the loud gunshots and explosions coming from the television.

As for Nikolai, he was slouched at the kitchen table. He had fallen asleep in one of the 4 chairs, his face flat on the wooden table. Saliva poured from his mouth and pooled under his face. In his right hand was a shot glass and in his left was a large bottle of vodka. Actually, empty bottles of vodka surrounded him, cluttering the table top. He snored over the loudness that was the TV.

Richtofen didn't have much to do today, so he decided that he'd relax himself with a bath. Instead of the usual soap suds and water, the Doctor thought that he'd deserved a super special treat. A large bathtub full of warm, crimson blood. The sadist made himself comfortable in the thick substance and relaxed, humming a deadly tune to himself.

A tiny knocking came at his bathroom door.

"_Ja,_ vhat is it? Zhe Doctor is busy!" Edward snarled to the cracked open door.

The white door drifted open slightly and the sadist saw nothing. Maybe the voices were playing tricks on him.

"Da da?"

His blue-eyes shot to the floor to an undead infant in a plain green shirt and a white diaper. The baby's sunny eyes stared into him and made him somewhat overjoyed. He was so proud that the child had learned to knock before entering rooms. The boy had the intelligence of his German daddy.

"Hello zhere, little one! Come to daddy." Richtofen commanded, pulling a hand from the red contents of the tub and holding it out towards the baby on the other side of the bathroom.

A cheeky grin graced Milz's face as he crawled across the cold tiles of the floor and to one of his four fathers. He stopped by the side of the tub, sniffing the air curiously. Something smelled... yummy. The child grabbed the edge of the bath with both hands and pulled himself up into a wobbly standing position. His bright eyes shone brighter. The bathtub was full of blood.

His favorite.

Milz thought that for sure he was in heaven. He dipped a finger into the liquid and nearly tasted it until...

"_Nein!_ No! Bad. Stop." Richtofen spoke, taking his tiny wrist and wiping the blood away with a bath towel.

The baby gave a whine and looked up at the Doctor sadly.

"Don't cry, my sveet Milz. Vould you like to take a bath?"

"Ba!"

"You are just so precious, I could rip out your little organs!" Edward squealed, pinching Milz's right cheek with a blood-covered hand.

* * *

After getting dressed, then replacing the blood in the bathtub with a small amount of soap and water, Richtofen made sure to add extra bubbles and a ton of toys for Milz. He undressed the child and then placed him into the lukewarm water. Milz splashed around cheerfully, popping the multiple suds with his little fingers.

Richtofen watched him closely, admiring his angelic attitude. The zombified child picked up a bright yellow rubber ducky and squeezed it tightly. The duck made a wheezing noise and Milz giggled. He then held the duck out to his German dad, jabbering a quick word in zombie/baby language.

The Doctor took the rubber bird and dipped it into the water. After pulling it out, he squeezed it, just as Milz did, and sprayed water from the little hole in it's orange bill. The newborn's eyes lit up and he reached for the duck, wanting to follow in his father's footsteps.

"What are you doing?"

Richtofen's ears flickered back as he heard the phrase and he turned around to the doorway to spot his other 3 roommates at the door.

"None of your business. Go avay!"

"I do not think that it's a good idea for you to give Milz a bath." a sweaty Takeo suggested.

"Nikolai agrees with stupid Asian." a sleepy Russian spoke out, leaning on the doorway.

"Vhy not? Everyzhing is fine. He's-" Edward stopped mid-sentence as a forceful string of water pelted him in the back of his head.

He whipped around to the bath again, only to spot Milz empty-handed and the sunny rubber duck floating along in the shallow water. The infant pointed to the duck.

"Bah."

The child had mastered the art of lying.

"He lies good! Just like Nikolai!" Nikolai exclaimed.

Richtofen stood to his feet, the ebony hair on the back of his head soaking wet and dripping onto the collar of his blue shirt. Marching over to his partners, he slammed the door in their faces, grumbling insults about each of them. He then turned his attention back to Milz who sat in the bathtub.

The boy sat in the water, his brown hair spiked up high on his head. Richtofen raised a confused eyebrow, wondering what his son was doing. Milz then raised both hands in the air and shouted:

"Oorah!"

Silence covered the bathroom until the Doctor realized what the baby was doing. He felt his stomach tighten up and he cackled loudly, sliding to the floor and draping his arms over his stomach.

"Z-zhat... zhat has to be... zhe best impression... o-of Dempsey... ever!" Edward chuckled, a tear escaping from his eye.

Milz clapped his hands and giggled along with his daddy.

"Vhat ozher impressions can you do?" the Nazi grinned, crawling over to Milz.

The undead child shook his head and his little hairs fell, some still sticking up stiffly. Milz picked up a floating toy that was in the shape of a bottle and raised it up high, jabbering loudly.

"Oh, is zhat Nikolai?" Richtofen smirked, running his skinny fingers through Milz's chocolate-colored hair.

"Baa!"

"You are so talented! Just like your daddy. Your smart Daddy. Not zhe American one." the sadist complimented, sticking a finger into the water.

The liquid was beginning to get cold. Even though Milz couldn't feel temperature because he was a zombie, the Doctor worried that maybe his defenses were unable to tolerate harsh temperatures, due to his small, frail body.

After giving the moving corpse a refreshing bath, the Nazi took Milz from the water as it began to drain. The infant whimpered in reply to being removed from the H2o. Richtofen noticed this and said,

"Don't cry, little one. Zhere vill be ozher days vhen you vill be able to bathe viz your favorite Nazi daddy."


	10. Walking The Drunken Walk

Nikolai awoke to a dim sun. He was smart the night before and closed his curtains to avoid the morning sun waking him up from his lovely dreams. The drunk pulled himself up into a sitting position on his bed and gazed around the room. It was actually clean. Perhaps Richtofen had came in earlier and straightened things up a bit. Nikolai was actually relieved that the Nazi hadn't woke him up and allowed him to sleep as much as he wished.

The copper-locked man's drooping ears picked up the voice of the sadist he'd just thought of. They were mixed with demonic giggles.

"Zhat's not right eizher! Listen to simple instructions _mien_ child!" the Doctor scolded. Nikolai could imagine him shaking a finger in the baby's face.

"Gah ba..." The sad tone in the undead infant's voice gave the Russian the ability to automatically translate that Milz was apologizing.

After freshening up, even though he hated doing so, and slipping himself into a black t-shirt and white basketball shorts, the Soviet began his journey outside of his room. He closed the door behind him and strolled into the living room where he found Richtofen seated on the maroon carpet and in his hands was a standing Milz, wobbling to get his balance.

"Do you zhink zhat you can do it now?" Edward questioned the child.

Milz chuckled then leaned forward onto Richtofen, giving him a sloppy, wet kiss on his forehead. Drool slipped down his face and over his nose as he gave an impatient sigh. The decaying baby plopped down onto the floor and noticed his Russian father standing next to him.

"Da da!" Milz hugged his leg excitedly as the Doctor wiped the saliva from his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"_Guten morgen,_ Nikolai." he sighed, placing an elbow onto his lap, then leaning his head onto his hand. Edward tapped his fingers on the floor, quietly thinking to himself.

Nikolai limped to the kitchen, due to the fact that his zombified son was wrapped around his lower right leg. He found himself 3 bottles of vodka and stole 6 of the Russian cookies that Richtofen had baked the night before. He stumbled into the living room to a departing Nazi.

"You're leaving Nikolai?!" he wailed.

"Vell, I have zhings to do today. But I von't be gone long!" That was always a lie. "_Auf wiedersehen!_ Also, do me a favor and teach him to valk._ Gut? Gut._" And Edward was gone.

* * *

The Soviet laid back on the black, leather couch, his head propped up on a white pillow. On his stomach sat Milz, who stared into the TV in front of him. This time it was actually on. He held his stuffed panda with him, content with the cooking channel that spoke about stuffed turkey and gourmet sandwiches. Even though human food wasn't appealing to him, he liked watching the bloody meat get chopped up by a big knife on an even bigger wooden cutting board.

Milz looked down at Nikolai and babbled a string of words that made absolutely no sense to him.

"Uh... yes?"

The zombie newborn continued, moving his hands around in a questionable manner then stared at the Russian for an answer.

"...yes?"

The newborn slipped down off of his stomach and then to the floor, his panda in his right hand. He relaxed on the floor then watched as Nikolai sat up.

"What is the matter with tiny baby?" the Russian wondered.

Milz said something in baby then held his panda up. He puppeteered the blue and white panda into a walking motion. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot-

Nikolai facepalmed himself, realizing what the baby was asking before. It was a no-brainer. The first sentence translated into: "Didn't German daddy say that I needed to learn to walk?" and the second sentence was, "So, shouldn't we start now?"

The Russian took hold of Milz's tiny hands in his fairly large one's and pulled him to his feet. He wobbled a little, somewhat afraid that he'd fall onto his little bottom, but he put his trust into Nikolai, no matter how drunk he was majority of the time. The baby boy was turned to a wall near the kitchen and then released.

He took one step. One slight wobbly step. Then another. This step was full of doubt and fear. Milz lost his balance and fell with a high squeak. He glanced up at Nikolai who extended his hands towards him. He took the man's hands and stood up once again in an unsteady formation, a little less wobbly than the one before.

* * *

Time passed and the duo had repeated the procedure over and over and over again. 115 times to be exact. The afternoon sun began to fall from the sky and the moon was preparing to take the world as it's empire. Richtofen had yet to return. Of course not. "Not gone long" to him meant "gone for no longer than 6 hours". Anyway, Milz hadn't taken no more than two steps ever since he began his walking training and Nikolai began to get doubtful of the child's success.

Bottles of vodka built up on the floor next to the couch and the lamp in the corner near the television was on, thanks to the darkness that had begun to engulf the living room. The TV played music videos endlessly and still, Milz hadn't proceeded to the wall he was targeted to. Eventually, following his 116th fall, Nikolai extended his hands a 116th time.

This time, Milz didn't take them.

His head hung down in defeat. The zombie seemed upset and unhappy with himself. Milz felt that he would never learn to walk. Nikolai, being as drunk as he was, observed this and decided to step in.

"Be happy, tiny baby. You will understand walking soon!" he reassured his son, grabbing his tiny hand again and pulling him to his feet.

The brown-haired duo went for lucky number 117 and Milz was faced towards the wall. The Russian attempted to release the rotting baby's hands, but the child held onto the man's hand, doubtful that he could make it.

"You can do it! Uh... pretend wall is brain. Not Takeo's brain, but other brain."

The gray-skinned baby's eyes shone as bright as the sun as his ears took the words and transformed the wall in front of him. The wall was no longer red. It was a brain. A bloody, pink, wrinkly brain. The blood dripped onto the red carpet as drool slipped down Milz's chin and onto his blue short-sleeved sweater.

The baby took one small step filled with temptation. The second step lingered with desire. Thrice was full of force. Step after step, Milz got closer and closer to the wall. At long last, he'd reached his destination. He gave a cheer, turning back around to Nikolai who sat on the couch.

"I said baby could do it, and you did!"

* * *

The TV watching continued as the channel surfing came to a stop. Milz sat on the floor, entranced by the colors on the big screen. Nikolai soon found himself fairly parched and felt more lazy than usual to get up grab another bottle of vodka. He tapped the baby's shoulder and he snapped from his hypnosis, glancing back at the soviet.

"Vodka for Nikolai?"

Milz rose to his feet and waddled into the kitchen like a penguin. He dragged the heavy bottle of vodka back towards the couch but paused halfway, looking up at a red-faced, black-haired, heavy breathing Nazi.

Richtofen.

"Da da!"

Nikolai's eyes shot from the TV to the Doctor who stood next to the couch. Oh no.

"Zhis is how you taught him to valk?!"


	11. Mall-ing With The Marine

**Author's Note: **I feel like this chapter is terrible, so it would really make me happy if you guys left a review on this one. Thanks!

* * *

Another boring day. Well, not particularly boring, but still dull nonetheless. Dempsey found himself relaxed in one of the fancy wooden chairs in the kitchen. He was at the wooden kitchen table, making lists for the upcoming spring. He was always the first one to get ready for the spring time. Then, Takeo followed suit. Nikolai came after him and Richtofen was always last, enjoying the lovely sales he always came across.

The bubbly New Year's party that the 4 men and their zombified son had was all a blur. It all started off as a chill party. They were all watching TV, awaiting the ball to drop. There were live performances by some of the most famous artists and people standing outside in bulky coats and hats. Nikolai, surprisingly, offered everyone a bottle of vodka. Sure, the vodka was nice, but Tank was nearly drunk as hell when the ball began to drop. He could remember the countdown and the colorful ball making it's way towards the building.

He took a quick gulp during the last 10 seconds.

"Five, four, three, two, o-" And everything went black for the blond.

The next morning, Dempsey awoke on the floor next to a sleeping Nikolai and a decaying baby sitting on his stomach. He remembered trying to sit up, but the pounding in his head urged him not to. That was all that he needed. He went back to sleep, this time cuddling his son in his arms.

Here it was the beginning of March and Tank still wondered what the hell happened that night. The sudden clanging of pots and pans behind him caused him to jump up and look around frantically. He turned around and looked towards a cabinet that was near the tile floor. Bright yellow eyes looked up at him and he stared back.

Milz was in the kitchen.

Then it struck him that something was wrong. On the baby's head was a silver, pasta strainer and surrounding the baby was a bunch of pots and pans. The refrigerator on the other side of the kitchen was wide open, food spilling out and onto the kitchen floor. In front of a standing Milz was a big pot of what looked like mush. Tank facepalmed himself and groaned. Milz observed the mess he'd made, then tried to reason with his father.

"Ahgata!"

"Kid, what are you doing?!" the Marine questioned.

"Ah... stoo!" Milz explained, holding the large pot by the two small handles on the sides.

Dempsey marched over to his son and leaned down, grabbing the baby by his wrist. He then smacked the back of the infant's hand and began cleaning up his mess. Milz gawked at his wrist, then plopped down onto his diapered bottom, releasing loud, satanic cries. Tank pretended not to care, even though he sorta felt bad for having to hit the newborn.

Loud, angry, vicious thumps came from the basement. Then the Marine remembered that Richtofen was in his lab for the day. The thumping didn't mean that he was working.

He was actually coming up the stairs. And judging on how ruthless his stomps were, he. Was. Pissed.

Dempsey watched Milz cry and quickly put himself into action, picking the baby up and holding him tightly to his chest. Milz's crying began to dim down and so did the angry stomps that were coming up the stairs. The Marine could've sworn that he could hear Richtofen's angry, heavy, breathing for a second.

Tank listened intently as he heard the Nazi retreat back down into the basement and get back to work. He gave a sigh of relief. If that basement door were to open, he didn't know what he'd do. Usually, he wasn't afraid of Richtofen. Hell, he'd break his nose if he wanted to. But things in him began to change. Richtofen would get more angry than usual if Milz was to cry because of someone else's doings.

The insane sadist would make sure that the child got fed at least 7 times a day. (Hey, zombie's gotta eat.) Richtofen was always keeping an eye on the baby, even when he was on his insane cleaning sprees twice a month. He'd walk by the living room and check on Milz who was always on the floor, playing with his panda. If something seemed just a little off, he'd stop what he was doing and investigate. If Dempsey didn't know any better, he'd say that the German was beginning to turn into a woman.

Milz wiped his tears away, sniffling and poking his lower lip out in a pout.

"Sorry about hittin' ya, Kid."

Milz murmured something in baby.

"Yeah, I know that was mean. Wanna go to the mall with me?"

"Ba..." the zombie whimpered a sentence that Tank couldn't understand and the Marine raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"S-stoo... for yoo."

The blond's heart shattered into sharp, tiny pieces.

"For me?"

"Mm-hmm... Twy?"

The blue-eyed man glanced down at the greenish mush in the large pot below. There were purple bits floating around in it and it reminded him of puke. He grimaced in disgust, petting the child's brown head.

"I'll uh... I'll try it when we get back."

* * *

Milz and his American daddy arrived at the mall after a short 15 minute drive. The automatic doors opened and the duo continued in. Milz glanced around the insanely large building, nearly stumbling over his own feet. He began to fear that the mall was going to crumble down and crush him, so he held onto Dempsey's pants leg, hoping he'd keep him safe. The bright, lights appealed to him, easing his fear just a tad.

The Marine began his shopping, going over the list he'd made before he left. Spring was the time he could show off his muscles and attract the women. Tank was always about the women. He looked good, so why not have a good-looking lady on his arm? Dempsey continued his walk through the mall, peeking into some of the small stores he walked by. He turned his head and glanced into a purse store, where most rich women shopped. The prices were insane, and if you had to ask how much it was, you couldn't afford it.

But the dull, pricey, purses weren't really what caught his eye. In the center of the golden, glowing store was a woman, who was shorter than Dempsey, but up to his neck. Her sandy hair was up in a neat bun, her side-bangs just below her eyebrow and Dempsey knew those galaxy eyes anywhere.

It was his ex-date.

The one who ran away at the sight of his son, Milz, screaming for her life. He scratched the stubble on his chin, wondering if he could take a second chance and why he didn't shave before leaving his house earlier this morning.

The blond cleared his throat and checked his breath, making sure that he was at least presentable to the wealthy woman. The zombified baby that he'd brought with him had long ago disappeared into the fairly large crowd of the mall, becoming lost in all of the glowing lights and smells of human flesh. Dempsey stepped into the store, throwing the curvy woman a wave.

She poked her bottom lip out, then crossed her arms over her chest, shifting her beautiful eyes elsewhere.

"Why are you here, weirdo?"

"I just so happened to run into you. Ya know, in the mall." the Marine flirted, trying to act as natural as possible.

"Yeah. In a purse store.** My** purse store."

"Yep. In a purse store." Tank muttered to himself, biting his lip awkwardly.

"Will you leave already? I have no intention of coming back to your house full of crazy men and babies." the woman said, staring up at the Marine.

"I'll make it up to you though! I'll buy a nice purse?"

The model gave a 'hmmm' then turned around, picking up a bright red, leather purse off of the counter behind her.

"I do like this one."

"Sweet. How much is it?"

"939 dollars."

Dempsey almost had a heart attack. Why would a purse cost THAT much?

* * *

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the mall, Milz ran past the short and long legs of multiple humans, taking in their tasty scents. Some blocked the smell of their flesh by wearing strong flowery perfumes. The zombie ran himself into a women's clothing store, jumping around between clothing racks and startling random ladies. He sprang into one of the many dressing rooms and knocked on one of the doors.

"Occupied!"

Milz had no idea what it meant to be 'occupied', so he crawled under the large opening of the door, looking up at the half-naked, dark-skinned lady in the small room. He waved sweetly, greeting her in his zombie language.

"Oh my god... eww!" the chocolate female screamed at the top of her lungs, draping a dress over herself and sprinting out of the dressing room.

The small baby realized that she'd left her purse and picked it up, following her into the store.

"Bag!" he tried to tell the dame, but she didn't listen, huddling herself into a corner. "Bag! Bag!"

"Get away, you... thing!" the lady shouted, frightened by the harmless Milz.

"B-bag?" he tried again, inching closer to her, holding out her bright blue purse.

A hand made forceful contact with his cheek and Milz hit the tile floor, holding his face in disbelief. The dark-skinned broad snatched her purse from his tiny, gray hand and stood to her feet. She bared her pearly, white teeth down at him, ready to slap him again if he dared try to 'attack' her.

"Stay away!" And with that, she scampered off.

Milz held his face, tears welling up in his eyes. No one had ever hit him like that before, not even his own fathers. The bright-eyed baby sniffled, wishing that he'd never ran away from his American dad. Milz stood up, tears falling down his face and onto his red coat.

"Da da..."

* * *

Tank hunted like a mad man for his son who had disappeared more than 20 minutes ago. How could he have lost him?! How?! He shoved past the multiple crowds of people, eyes locked on the floor. The galaxy-eyed blonde was behind him, assisting his search for Milz whom she now understood. She had no reason to be afraid of him now that she knew he was harmless. The model had over-reacted.

"Dammit! Milz!" the Marine yelled, his voice echoing throughout the mall.

"Da da!"

He came to a halt. That was Milz, wasn't it? Dempsey eyed the mall, listening to the familiar sound of his son's satanic voice.

"Da da! Da da! Twouble!"

"There! He's right there!" the duchess squealed, pointing a petite finger over Dempsey's shoulder.

Tank followed the finger and squinted into the distance. His azure eyes grew wide. He'd found what he'd been looking for, but his prize was slowly being dragged away by a tall man in a sky blue shirt and navy blue pants. A mall cop. The American nudged past more of the folks and sprinted to the cop, tapping his broad shoulder.

The male turned around, squinting his lime green eyes at the two blondes.

"He's mine." Dempsey said, holding a hand out to Milz.

"Good timing. You're lucky to have found him. More and more children are left unattended in this mall everyday. Keep an eye on him. He's a good kid." and following the hand-over of the zombie, the cop disappeared, tending to his job.

The Marine hoisted Milz up into his arms and hugged him tightly. He thought that he'd lost him, which would've resulted in a life full of guilt and a huge fight with Richtofen when he got home. The decaying child dug his head into his blond father's neck, afraid that someone would come try to take him away to places he didn't wanna go again. A fragile, milky hand with midnight blue nail polish ran it's was through his chocolate hair. Milz tilted his head up, trying to figure out who had touched him, knowing that Tank was heavy-handed.

A large red and white swirled lollipop was thrust into his face. It was wrapped neatly in a clear wrapper and bared a blue ribbon near the stick, holding the wrapper closed.

Milz eyed the occupant than gave a little gasp, realizing who it was from. The same pretty blonde lady with the galaxy eyes that American daddy had adored so much. He took the lollipop, then hid his face back in Tank's neck, giggling insanely.

After waving a wordless good-bye to the woman of his dreams, the Marine took his leave. He sighed, realizing that he didn't get a single thing on his list. He shoved a hand into his coat pocket. Shit. This was the worst mall trip ever. The duo stepped out into the freezing cold. Dempsey pulled Milz's hood over his head and a string of paper fell from it. The paper fell to the ground and he picked it up, reading it.

7 digits. One name. Two Words. _Call me._ Jackpot!

* * *

After the 15 minute drive back home, Dempsey waltzed into the warm abode with a sticky Milz. On the couch sat Richtofen, one leg crossed over the other. He wore a plain black shirt with Jack Skellington's face on it and a pair of white sweatpants. In his hands was a bowl of green mush with purple bits floating around in it.

Milz's stew.

"Stoo!" the gray-skinned baby clapped.

"Uh..."

"Ah, you're home. Vhere did you go?" the sadist wondered.

"What are you eating?" Tank questioned, pulling off the jacket he'd received from Takeo during Christmas.

"Zhere vas a pot of mess on zhe floor."

"And you ate it?"

"It's actually _gut_. Better zhan my cooking!"

"Anything's better than your cooking." the blond grumbled, removing Milz from his coat and heading into the kitchen. He stepped over to the big, half-empty pot of mess on the counter. Taking a deep breath, he remembered the promise he'd made Milz before they left. "Here goes nothin'..."

The American inhaled, dipping his index finger into the pot. He shut his eyes and placed his finger into his mouth, worriedly swirling his tongue around it. Hmm. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Maybe this wasn't the worst day ever.


	12. The Mysterious Chase

**A/N: **Just as I'd promised: a chapter right before Christmas! This idea was on my mind all through finals and I finally got to type it out! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It may just be one of my favorites...

* * *

The night was dark and silent. No staying up late in the lab, no late night TV, no late night drinking (surprisingly). Just sleep. It had been a busy day for the four fathers and their son. Each of them had disbanded to their rooms for the night, catching some well needed sleep.

Dempsey had clocked out fairly early, not even bothering to pull the covers over himself. Nikolai passed out on his way to his bed, collapsing and falling asleep on his hardwood floor. Takeo had stayed awake just long enough to cut on the lanterns that were hanging from his ceiling and climb into bed. He didn't even bother changing clothes, knowing that he wouldn't have the energy to make it to his soft bed afterwards.

For Richtofen, he'd ran on coffee the entire day, but it caught up to him, causing him to nearly doze off in the middle of placing Milz into his crib. He did so with tons of effort, then found his way into bed. Milz wasn't tired and called out to the German to come play with him, but it was of no use. The sadist was in a deep sleep.

Milz stayed up all night, laying in his crib and wondering when the sun would rise into the sky again and shine like his eyes. The rotting child held his panda close while he stared up at the ceiling above him.  
A bright light caught his attention and he sat up in his crib, looking towards the light eagerly. The sun! No, that wasn't it. Milz gazed between the bars of his bed then made another assumption. Daddy was awake! No, that wasn't it either. He stood to his feet and came face to face with a glowing, floating... girl?

The little girl had pale, white skin and long, dark, waist-length, ebony hair. Her eyes were large and yellow, shining almost like Milz's. The girl wore a sky blue dress that had short sleeves and white frills along the edges of the sleeves, hem and neck. Around her waist was a silk, white ribbon, tied into a neat bow. The dress came down to the girl's knees. Her feet were free from socks or shoes, showing off her cosmic blue toenails.

"Girl." Milz said, pointing to the delicate figure before him.

"Shh." the girl urged, placing a finger to her lips and peering back at a sleeping Richtofen. He stirred in his sleep, but didn't awake. "Ve don't vant to vake him."

The zombie nodded obediently, covering his mouth with his small grey hands. The girl giggled and reached into his crib, grabbing under his armpits and picking him up. She placed the undead baby onto the floor then disappeared. Milz gawked around the room, wondering where his new playmate had went. Suddenly, the door to Edward's room opened on it's own.

The child gazed towards the end of the hall. Floating just at the end was the sunny eyed female, her hands at her sides. She raised a single finger and ushered Milz down. He stared, confused at first, then got onto his two feet. Grey feet silently hit the hardwood floor of the hallway as he made his way to his new friend. He followed the girl all the way down another hallway, being sure to be quiet the entire time.

Milz found himself in the dark confines of the living room, the only thing lighting the area was the female. She levitated into the kitchen and Milz followed without a second thought. He stepped onto the cold tiles of the kitchen and the mysterious woman grinned down at him. Milz sat on the floor, slightly exhausted from walking. The glowing girl opened her mouth to speak...

Then, closed it.

Her yellow eyes shifted from left-to-right and her eyebrows lowered for a split second. The delicate spirit disappeared without a word in a mist of golden dust. The dust faded into nothing but thin air.

"Girl!" Milz exclaimed, holding out a hand into the open air.

The lights to the kitchen flickered on and Milz looked back behind him.

"Milz... vhat are you doing in here?" Richtofen yawned, rubbing his right eye sleepily.

"Girl! Girl!"

Edward raised an eyebrow, then dismissed the odd shouts of his son, picking him up. He turned off the lights, then began his tired stride back to his room. Milz watched over the insane man's shoulder, just as he did the day he was found in the ally. The glowing girl appeared once more in the living room. She lifted a lean hand and waved at the boy happily, the corners of her mouth stiffly resisting the urge to point downwards. Milz gasped and pointed at her.

"Da da, Girl!" he shouted and the Doctor turned around.

His evil blue eyes glared down the hallway into nothing but open air. A low growl of impatience emitted from his throat. All he wanted to do was get back into bed.

"You must be tired..." Richtofen thought aloud, then continued back down the hallway.

The mysterious girl appeared just as soon as he turned his back and Milz couldn't believe his bright orbs. She waved again, as if to say 'good-bye' and all Milz could do was wave back.

"Girl..." the decaying babe whispered, before Edward closed the door to his room, cutting his eyes away from the glowing figure.

The girl's hand fell to her side in defeat. The once milky skin turned a burning red. Her small hands curled into balls of fury and she huffed, annoyed. The female took a deep breath and her skin dimmed. Hot red. Pink. White. Her hands unfolded and she turned around. Placing a hand on her hip, the girl ran a hand through her black locks all while sticking her nose into the air snobbishly. She disappeared once more into a mist of golden dust, pitying herself,

For her plan had failed.


	13. Thrills For Pills

**A/N: Merry Christmas/New Year's! I kinda rushed this chapter so, tell me what you think! Leave a review, please! Have a good New Year's!**

* * *

_**Bold & Italic = Voices**_

* * *

Flowers were beginning to bloom along with constant showers, pollen, and muggy afternoons. The weather was going insane, but that wasn't the only thing that was going to lose it's mind. At the end of the hallway of the veterans' home, Richtofen had just sat up in bed. He glanced over at the clock next to him and the man had woken up 5 minutes before the alarm for the 5th time this week. How annoying. He lazily disabled the alarm with sleepy fingers and closed his eyes, attempting to wake himself up.

Richtofen saw nothing but darkness and heard the voices in his head, urging him to do things that he was WAY too tired to do. He pushed the covers off of his lanky body, then hung his legs over the edge of the bed.

Rubbing his eyes, Edward attempted to stand but his wobbly legs beneath him gave in and he fell to the floor, landing on his hands and knees. He still hadn't opened his azure eyes yet as he was trying to pretend that the sun wasn't there. The dark-haired man stood up, placing a hand on the right side of his face. The voices were driving him up the wall.

The Doctor extended both arms, gripping the doorway to his bathroom and pulling himself in. He stopped by the sink just by the door, using it for support. Turning his head to the right, Richtofen yawned while clasping a hand over his mouth. He finally opened his evil orbs, staring into the mirror before him.

Man, he even looked good when he was half-asleep. Richtofen gave a sexy, but sleepy grin to the mirror, then opened the cabinet. The Nazi picked up a tan, prescription bottle. First things first: take your pills before you go crazy and kill everyone around you. Secondly- Wait. He couldn't even complete the first task. Richtofen held the bottle upside down and shook it.

The bottle was empty.

Edward dropped the bottle in shook, placing his hands on his cheeks. He couldn't believe this. Where had all of his pills gone in such a short amount of time? What would happen if he didn't get those pills? Would he do something to end up jail? Most importantly, would he do something to hurt his own son?

Richtofen raced out of the bathroom and over to his computer desk, picking up his cell phone that was attached to a cord that extended from the wall. He disconnected the charger then turned it on, entering the pass code as quickly as possible. The main screen popped up along with one big notification.

_You have 2 new messages, 3 voice mails and 3 missed calls._

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Edward cursed, hitting his head against the desk each time the word escaped from his mouth.

All of the notifications were from the doctor's office, telling him to come pick up his pills. He'd been so busy recently, that he hadn't checked his phone for days.

"Da da..." Milz called from his crib.

The Doctor dismissed his current issue and placed his phone back onto the desk, stalking over to his son's crib. He ran a hand through the dead baby's coffee hair and grinned at him lovingly.

"_Guten Morgen._" he cooed as the baby reached out and patted his cheeks.

_**Why did you even take him in? You should've left him in the ally.**_

Richtofen's eyes narrowed at the people in his head. Shut up.

_**Go ahead. Kill him. You know you want to.**_

Picking up Milz, the sadist hugged him close, afraid that the voices would pop out of his head and kill him by themselves.

_**You killed many of his kind years ago. Y'know, before you screwed up your plans for world domination. Kill him. Kill your own son.**_

"Be quiet..." Edward whispered to no one in particular.

_**Kill him. Do it already.**_

"Go avay..."

_**Fucking kill him.**_

"Da da..." Milz gasped against his chest. "Da da... Hurt..."

Richtofen took a peek at the decaying child in his arms. The baby had both hands on his head and tears were rolling down his cheeks. The Nazi noticed that he had a hand on the back of Milz's head and removed it, eyes widening at what he saw.

His fingers were dripping with blood.

Glancing back at the zombie in his arms, his shriveled up heart nearly disintegrated into dust as his son's eyes dimmed slowly and no longer shined yellow. Milz went limp in his arms, his head falling against Richtofen's shoulder.

"Milz..." he called, shaking the child gently, his stomach dropping. "M-Milz... vake up..."

It was the day he dreaded. Milz had died. By _his_ hands. Out of shock, the Doctor dropped the tiny body onto the hardwood floor, gawking at the red substance that stuck to the back of the head of his now dead son. He backed away, actually, for once in his life, scared. In fact, he nearly cried. One of his most precious treasures had been destroyed.

The voices were silent though. So silent. Edward grasped the sides of his head, trembling violently. This couldn't be real. It just couldn't be. It had to be a trick. Every second that went by was fake. Wasn't it? Wasn't it?! No matter how many times the man blinked or told himself it wasn't real, the dead body still remained; mocking him, taunting him, punishing him.

"Da da! Da da!"

Milz's demonic, but adorable voice. Something he'd never hear again.

"Da da! You... okay?"

The Doctor's blue eyes snapped open. He opened them face-to-face to an alive and well Milz. He was still in his crib and squeezing the crazed man's nose.

"Da da... okay?" he wondered, worried.

It was an illusion.

"_J-ja..._ just fine!" the Nazi reassured him, petting his head.

He needed those pills fast.

* * *

Dempsey the Meathead, Nikolai the Drunk, and Takeo the Samurai all lazed on the couch, staring into the TV. Nothing was on at 9am in the morning, so they were stuck staring at Tom & Jerry for the next few hours.

"I don't get it. Why doesn't this cat just kill the mouse already?" Tank questioned, lifting an eyebrow.

"The mouse is way too fast." Takeo claimed.

"Yeah, but when he _does_ catch him, he takes FOREVER to kill him. He's gonna die hungry." the Marine grunted.

"Heh, I'd just get him drunk with vodka and then, _bon appetit._" Nikolai laughed, watching as Tom got his foot smashed yet again.

A fully dressed Richtofen came rushing into the living room with a fully dressed Milz. He stopped by the door, putting the baby down and slipping on his shoes. The 3 solders on the couch turned and watched him, wondering why he was moving so fast and why he hadn't cooked breakfast yet.

"Where you goin' in such a hurry, kraut?"

"Zhe doctor's office." Edward explained, tying his shoe laces.

"Doctor!" Milz shouted, drooling on his panda.

"You're going to let Nikolai starve to death?!" the Russian asked.

"I'm sure you'd survive off of vodka even if I tried." the Doctor explained.

"Do not worry. I will cook breakfast." the Samurai reassured.

Richtofen stood to his feet and picked up his son.

"Zhank you, Takeo. Let's go, Milz. Zhere's no time to vaste!"

"Wait a minute! Why are you going to the Doctor's office anyway?" Dempsey asked, scratching his head.

"I'm out of pills." Edward said, rolling his eyes.

"Aren't you a doctor? Can't you make them yourself?"

"If I vere to make zhem by myself, you'd all be dead." and with that, he left.

* * *

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding me. If Richtofen would've known that the traffic would be this bad today, he would've just stayed home and went crazy! The cars went down for miles and there was no getting through for quite sometime. He sighed to himself then looked at the small baby in the tiny car seat next to him. The zombie was playing with his panda, mumbling to himself.

The sadist grinned while brushing some hair out of Milz's face. He glanced forward afterwards, taking notice that no one had moved ever since he averted his eyes. Nothing in the world could make this worse than it already was.

Out of the blue, the touchscreen phone in his pocket went off and he reached in, pulling the noisy object out of his pants and looking at the caller ID. He swiped the screen, answering the call.

"Vhat?"

"Edward, where are you?" a female voice softly wondered.

"I'm... stuck in traffic..." he admitted, pressing gently on the gas as the traffic moved slightly.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine! Really!" the Doctor laughed insanely, biting his fingers.

"Doesn't seem like it. Please hurry."

"I'll try..." he told the woman, then hung up, tossing his cellular device onto the dashboard.

Milz shook his panda angrily, growling at the stuffed animal. The sunny-eyed babe then threw the blue and white panda into the back seat, shouting after it. He peeked over at his German father in embarrassment, but got somewhat scared afterwards.

His dad had fallen asleep at the wheel.

* * *

The world shut down and became dark. The skies were coated black and the trees looked as if they were painted over with ebony paint. It was as if a shadow was looming over planet earth. Richtofen squinted at his surroundings. He was standing in the middle of the highway, placed between the traffic clogged roads. The man inspected the cars around him, looking into the windows. All of the cars were empty.

It was an eerie feeling that was cast into his stomach. He ignored it and walked forward, still checking the vehicles for any source of human life. The Doctor came to the conclusion that he was the only one in the inky area. His blue eyes spotted the car that he was once in. The driver's door was ajar and the feeling in his stomach became even more painful.

Edward rushed to the car then bent down to gaze inside, hunting for his son. He spotted an empty child's car seat in the passenger's seat.

"Milz..." he wondered, pulling himself out of the automobile.

He closed the door with a thud, peeking around among the cars for glowing yellow eyes.

_**Are you looking for something, Eddy?**_

"You have him, don't you?"

_**Why on earth would you think that? We're only voices in your head.**_

"Bring him back to me!" Richtofen commanded, placing a hand on his head.

_**Well, just giving him back isn't fun. You have to catch us before we catch you.**_

"Zhat doesn't make any sense!"

The cars around him cleared and the sadist stood in nothingness. Many yards away stood a tall gray figure. It took the shape of a human male with glowing red eyes. It's white shadow was cast among the ground. In it's hands was a tied up zombified baby. He was wrapped in rope and a thick piece of duck tape was placed over his mouth. The figure held him up, grinning at the Doctor devilishly.

_**Come and get him.**_

Edward broke into a vigorous sprint and the devil turned tail and ran, Milz cradled close to his chest. The Nazi refused to get tired, desperate for his child back. He heard footsteps behind him. He glanced behind him over his shoulder and spotted his 3 roommates. He was going to call out to them, but it didn't take him long to realize that their eyes were shimmering red as well.

_**Come back, Eddy.**_

The Doctor faced forward, focused on getting his son back, instead of the fakers trailing behind him. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Not matter how fast he ran or extended his arms, he couldn't get closer to the gray figure that was taking his son away. He felt a small tug on his shirt and yanked away from it, coming to the conclusion that the others had caught up to him. Suddenly, a bright white light was cast into his face and he shielded his eyes, continuing his running and panting tiredly. A truck horn blared, hurting his ears.

Richtofen was forced to the unlit ground by a massive amount of weight. On his back was Takeo, Dempsey and Nikolai, keeping a grip on him and forcing him down. The truck came closer and the gray figure continued with it's stride. The Nazi watched in defeat as the red-eyed devil ran towards the truck. It looked over it's shoulder at the Doctor then grinned evilly again.

It held Milz by some of the rope and swung it's arm back. It lunged forward, releasing the baby from it's grip towards the speeding truck and disappearing afterwards.

"Milz!"

* * *

Richtofen sat up abruptly in the driver's seat, taking his head off of the wheel. He must've leaned onto the car horn. He checked to make sure that Milz was next to him and he was. The traffic began to clear and he gave a sigh of relief, pressing onto the gas.

* * *

Sitting in the waiting room was painful. The voices in his head were going bonkers, pestering him and asking him why he wanted to get rid of them so badly. The sadist kept an eye on his son, watching him gaze into the fish tank that was full of goldfish. The baby poked the tank in wonder then squealed.

"Fishy bright! Like eyes!" Milz turned to his father that was sitting on the other side of the room. He took note of his dad's miserable expression and went to work.

The child picked up an orange and white stuffed cat from the floor and rushed over to Richtofen.

"Da da, kitty!" he smiled, thrusting the cat into his face. After his dad took the cat, he ran off, picking up a gray elephant and running back. "Da da, elly!"

Edward accepted his gift and watched uninterested as Milz took off and came back with yet another gift. A brown dog.

"Da da, puppy!"

As he waited in the room, stuffed animals built up in his lap. The Doctor had to admit, Milz distracted him from the voices until the doctor came in.

"Is there a Mr. Richtofen here?"

Richtofen stood up, the animals falling from his lap and onto the floor. His son rushed over and hugged his leg, believing that he did a good job at making his parent happy. The Doctor in the white coat raised an eyebrow at the child.

"Um... I know you're here for your pills, but... does your child need a check-up as well?"

"_Nein!_ Just give me zhe damn pills!"


	14. Red, White & Blue Raindrops

It was a dark day. Clouds that were grayer than Milz's skin intercepted the sun's vibrant rays. The veterans and their sun were stuck in their house for the day, waiting for the sun to shine again, but it was highly unlikely. On the living room floor, surrounded by auburn walls was Milz, staring up at one of his fathers. Dempsey sat on the couch, telling the child a scary children's story. It was a myth, but to Milz, it was real. Too real.

"And so they ran, arms high up in the air. It was dark. Very dark. So dark, not even your own eyes could be seen." the American whispered.

Milz gulped as he continued.

"They finally made it outside, and out of the cave... came a MONSTER!" Dempsey yelled, throwing his arms up over the child, his fingers clenched like claws.

The undead baby gasped, holding his panda tighter.

"It was the legend that nobody thought was real. They called it... the 'Cosmic Silverback'."

"The Coswic Wilverback?" his son echoed, a hand on his cheek.

"Oh yeah, kid. It was a great big ape in a space suit. He had glowing red eyes and teeth shaper than a bowie-knife!" the Marine exarrated, placing his hands on his lap.

"Scawy..."

"You're tellin' me! So he came out of the cave and ROARED! Then he beat on his chest!" Tank wailed, beating on his own chest with his fists. "They were scared. Very scared. They thought, 'Oh no. The Cosmic Silverback is gonna attack!'"

The zombie leaned forward, intrigued.

"And he did."

Milz jumped back.

"Just. Like. This!" Tank exclaimed, lunging at the baby and tickling him fiercely.

Milz screamed at first, but laughed afterwards, rolling around on the floor in an attempt to escape his father's insanely strong grasp. Richtofen ran in as quick as possible, but let his guard down, realizing that the meathead was the reason that Milz had screamed. He gave an annoyed sigh and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Dempsey, stop being stupider zhan usual." he growled. "Besides, isn't your significant ozher coming over soon?"

"Oh, shit. You're right." Tank said, ceasing his tickle frenzy. "I've gotta look good. She's probably looking better than I am now. Oorah."

While the Marine left to freshen up, the Doctor retrieved his son from the floor and escorted him to his room. He didn't want the child looking a complete and utter mess when the lady arrived.

* * *

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. The doorbell rang. The freakin' doorbell rang. Everything went into a panic. Richtofen stopped dusting the living room and hid the swifter. He pulled his bandana from his head and his gloves from his hands, running into the kitchen to put them away. Takeo finished the dishes just in time, drying his hands off afterwards. Nikolai hid his vodka. He didn't want the woman thinking that he was too much of a drunk. Dempsey sprinted in, pulling a graphic t-shirt over his head.

The Marine ran to the door and took a deep breath. He gripped the handle and took a look back. The Nazi, Soviet & Samurai stood awkwardly by the kitchen, Richtofen running his fingers through his hair. Tank raised his eyebrows at them and shrugged towards the couch.

What? Oh, right! Act natural! The 3 men placed themselves on the couch in front of the TV frantically. The doorbell rang a second time and the Doctor choked. The TV wasn't even on! He face-palmed himself and grabbed the remote off of Dempsey's Xbox, flicking it on and turning to a random channel.

The blond sighed and the door swung open. There stood his girlfriend in a flowing lilac dress. Her dress had a split on her left leg and on her feet were in dark purple 3 inch heels. The woman's hair was up in a bun again and she had glitter just below her eyes. She grinned, happy to see the American again.

"What took you so long?"

"We didn't uh... hear you the first time." he lied, stepping to the side to let her in.

"It's alright then." She stepped in and looked towards the couch. "Hello, you all!"

Richtofen was the first to glance back. He opened his mouth to greet the lady but was interrupted by Tank.

"Shut up!" he coughed, placing a hand over his mouth.

Deep, evil eyes met his from the couch, but he ignored them as the woman took off her shoes to place them by the door. She stepped over to the couch and leaned down to look at the large screen TV.

"Oh! Um... I love... animal planet, too..." she awkwardly lied.

Takeo took this as the opportunity to stand to his feet and bow gracefully. The lady copied him, leaning back up to meet his eyes.

"You're Takeo, I know. I'm so sorry for last time."

"It is fine. You have been most honorable for giving such a well-mannered apology." the Samurai spoke.

"Well, I'm Lona, Dempsey's girlfriend. I hope to get along with you."

"Then it seems that we are off to a good start."

Lona pulled the Japanese man into a hug. Richtofen and Nikolai gazed at each other, already believing that the blonde liked Takeo more. The Doctor quickly plucked the bottle of vodka that the Soviet was holding from his hands and straightened his hoodie. The German hid the bottle of liquor behind the couch as Lona approached.

"Ah, you must be Nikolai! Tank's told me all about you!"

"Well, how could he not?" Nikolai snorted, shaking the woman's hand.

"I got you a gift!" Lona reached into a white leather bag that she came with and out came a big bottle of vodka. "He told me your were a major drunk, but was way cooler than Edward. Whoever that is."

"Is sweet of you! Nikolai is happy!" the Russian laughed, taking the beverage from the woman's hands.

While Belenski indulged himself in the vodka, Lona stepped over to Richtofen. Before she could extend her hand, she was stopped by Dempsey who stepped over and grabbed her shoulders lovingly.

"Oh, hey! There's sugar cookies in the kitchen. I know how much you love those."

"Oh, do I?! I'll go get some. Right after I meet him."

"He's uh... he's not important."

"Nonsense. He looks nice." Lona turned her head away from the Marine and shook hands with the German. "And you must be...?"

"Richtofen! Doctor Edward Richtofen." the Doctor grinned, shooting a smile of triumph at Dempsey.

"So _you're_ Edward? Tank has said so much about you! You don't look as mean as he says." the model gasped.

"I'm... I'm not. At least... I-I don't try to be..." the sadist whimpered and put his hands over his eyes, pretending to be on the verge of tears.

"You poor thing!"

Dempsey felt his face heat up with anger. She actually bought that?! He watched in envy as Lona plopped down next to the faking Richtofen and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. She pet his head soothingly.

"You're just misunderstood, aren't you?"

"_Ja..._ it's painful sometimes..." Edward faked, gazing over at the woman with pleading blue eyes.

* * *

This. Was. Unbelievable. Lona came to meet the 3 zombie killers, but took an ultimate liking to the Doctor. They seemed to have so much in common and they talked for hours. The model hadn't said a single word to Dempsey ever since she stepped in and the man was almost at his breaking point. He sat on the opposite end of the couch of the duo, listening to their conversation over the sound of the TV.

"Oh my goodness, I love the scalpel! It's like, my favorite tool ever!" Lona giggled, taking another bite from a sugar cookie.

"Mine too! It also makes a great knife!" Richtofen replied.

"Seriously? I have got to try that when I get home! Ya know... after I get off of the scale."

"Zhe scale?"

"Yeah. I really shouldn't be eating these cookies. I'm getting _so_ fat... My agent's gonna kill me." the model whispered, placing the half eaten cookie onto a napkin.

"Nonsense. You're not getting fat at all. In fact, you're actually quite gorgeous. I can see vhy Dempsey picked a voman such as you." the German complimented.

Dempsey growled under his breath. Oh, come on!

"You are just the sweetest thing!" the woman with the galaxy-eyes grinned, pinching the Doctor's cheek.

That so does it. The Marine nearly got up from the couch and slapped Richtofen across the face, but was stopped as Milz came into the living room waving his arms frantically.

"Da da! Da da! Scawy!"

"Scary? What are you talking about, kid?" the blond male responded, scratching his head in wonder.

"Water... from sky!" Milz screamed, terrified beyond belief.

"Ah. In Japanese, that's called _ame._" Takeo explained as he followed the child into the living room.

"_Ame..._" the yellow-eyed baby repeated.

"Yeah, but in English, it's called rain."

"Wain!"

Dempsey took a minute and thought. Milz seemed insanely afraid of the rain. So, why not take him outside to explore it. Must be a good idea. It'd get him away from the faking German and the hot blonde.

* * *

The American stepped outside in a dark green raincoat while holding a blue umbrella over his head. He peeked around the backyard, his glowing blue eyes catching some of the flowers that Takeo had planted. They were beginning to bloom along with the cherry blossom tree that was there as well. The tree was fairly huge and was centered in the middle of the wide yard. The grass had been freshly cut, courtesy of Nikolai and overall, it was a sight to behold.

Dempsey turned around at his son that was still at the backdoor. Milz stood inside wearing a red raincoat, afraid of the liquid that was falling from above.

"Come out here, kid."

Milz shook his head at him, twiddling his tiny fingers.

"Milz, be a man. Get out here. It's not gonna hurt you."

"B-but... sky..."

"Get out here. Now."

The zombified toddler glanced about in fear and took a deep breath. He rushed outside under the umbrella and grabbed a hold of Tank's pants leg. Tank reached down and pet his hooded head gently, proud of him for being as brave as his father. Milz gawked at the falling water around him, surprised that he was dry. He peeked up at the umbrella above him and was frightened to see that it was moving away.

The undead child moved towards the umbrella, determined to stay dry. The Marine backed away from him and Milz came forward, grabbing onto his leg once more.

"You're not gonna die, kid." Dempsey grinned. "I'm right here."

"N-no... no!"

Out of the blue, the Marine closed the umbrella and let the rain pet their hoods. Milz gazed around frantically, then covered his face in terror. He began to cry, his hands becoming more wet than his raincoat.

"Milz."

He continued to sob.

"Milz!"

The child peeked up at his blond daddy and gasped. He wasn't hurting was he?

"You're fine. The rain's not hurting you."

Milz's yellow eyes went wide with amazement and he extended his hands, watching as the water fell onto his open palms. He laughed happily and jumped up and down, delighted by the new feeling. His red rainboots got wet and he nearly sprinted out into the yard, but a loud, terrifying rumble held him back. The gray-skinned baby gripped Dempsey's calf again, screaming in terror.

"No! No! Coswic Wilverback!"

The American laughed over the rain, remembering the story that he told his son before Lona arrived.

"That's thunder."

"Thunder is... scawy..." Milz whimpered out.

"Stop being a baby. You've got the toughest dad out here with you. Nothing's gonna attack you while I'm here." Tank gripped his son's tiny hand in his and walked out into the muddy yard, leaving the umbrella on the concrete porch.

For a while, he let Milz play about in the weather as he watched the thunder light up the sky and strike in random places. He was so entranced, he didn't realize how quickly the wind had picked up. He was interrupted from his gaze as the undead kid grabbed his leg again.

A noise that was very familiar entered his ears.

"Coswic Wilverback!"

"That's no Cosmic Silverback. That's a tornado siren. We've gotta-"

"Tank!"

The Marine followed the sound to the backdoor he had emerged from and found his gorgeous girlfriend standing in it.

"You've gotta come in! A tornado's coming!" Lona screamed as she was attacked by a couple of raindrops that dotted her dress.

"Coswic Wilverback!" Milz screamed, flailing his arms in the air.

"He's coming! Run!" Dempsey yelled and the baby took off towards the house as he was chased by the Marine, who roared behind him and beat on his chest menacingly.


End file.
